stress+fatigue=strigue

he thought it was the sickness of the restless. he believed that his constant moving and walking around the campus was the cure to his on and off fever. he found it unusual that each time he would sit down and relax, his body temperature would rise and fever would start to dominate his system.
after hours of arguments and discourse, his friends finally convinced him to have himself checked-up on the nearby infirmary. he was never a fan of the campus’ infirmary. the first time he went there was three years ago when he had his check up as a freshman. together with his ex-girlfriend, he traced the white-washed walls of the university hospital. for an hour, he waited in line for check-up, but to his misfortune, there was no doctor available. the infirmary is a thirty minute walk hospital located at the upper campus, which requires a slight hike whether you travel by foot or by any vehicle.
after wasting his remaining energy for that day, he has proven the claim that the infirmary was indeed an “infir-matay.” if ever he had a more serious illness, he could have died there on the spot.

as his body was attacked one by one by muscle pains and weakness, sore throat, colds, fever, cough, and swollen gums, his mind was in war with paranoia of graduating on time, last song syndrome of boom-tarat, failure to purchase any shoe at the converse sale in alabang and with incessant nags of his father regarding his sickness.

since childhood, he has wondered about the irony of being scolded and nagged while he was under the state of sickness. his father would always tell him about not taking care of himself, being irresponsible, and being inconsiderate to his family, but he would resent those claims for he knew that he was doing something to cure his malady.

ways that he has tried so far to treat his sickness:

2 bowls of lucky me instant mami (chicken flavor) – yes, this noodle soup does wonders on him
big bang and cloud 9- to induce his happy hormones
mango flavored ice cream- to be happy and fell satisfied as well
double longganisa with egg & jumbo cheesy bacon with cheese from burger machine- being full makes one free from sickness (somehow)
toridon from eat sumo
alaxan
more alaxan
biogesic
another round of biogesic
salt gargle in lukewarm water
pure calamansi juice
glasses of water
more salt gargle
more biogesic
strepsils
egg yolk soaked in calamansi juice
cbc blood platelet count
medicines that sounds like anthrax-narvax, etc.
bed rest
water, water and more water
another round of lucky me


**********
finally, first semester of ay 2006-2007 was officially over.

20000th++

flakes of rubbles from our decayed ceiling woke me as it dominated my oil moistened face. for an instance, i thought that another natural catastrophe has hit our apartment because i’ve been hearing sounds of tearing and thundering attacks on our roof. when i checked out our window, it dawned to me that it was not the force of nature, but of men. men armed with saw, hammers, and other spiky objects were creating sounds of thunder on our roof. how dare them steal me away from my dreams of resting on a carribean cruise! they have no right to wreak havoc while people were still asleep.

before i could insinuate a mini-war, i suddenly realized that i didn’t pay the house rent for two consecutive months. and so i just ignored them and let them tear or repair our roof as they wish, as long as they don’t dismantle my bed, else, it’ll be the start of wwiii.
*************


a former dorm mate borrowed my copy of gaiman’s smokes and mirrors. he greeted me with criticisms from our recently released community newspaper. yes, i do i understood that he was a former editor-in-chief way back in his high school days, that he may have known journalism by heart, but can he be more rude?
i asked him to meet me at a certain computer shop since kitty the dog, the resident guard of our apartment, frightens him. he saw me updating my blog and remarked that blogs are only for lonely people. he even said “bakit ka pa naggaganyan?” and made it sound as if only losers were the ones blogging. poor him. he used to blog. and to tell you, he was a prolific writer. but since he decided to change route and filed his leave of absence in school to pursue his carreer in love and in the call center, he became a critique, someone who seemed to watch and criticize our every move as if we’re inside a terrarium.
he beamed as he browsed over the pages of the book. he continued throwing remarks at my blog. violent thoughts started to cloud my mind. i don’t think smokes have emerged from my ears, but the moment i shot him an indignant look, he walked out from my sight.


*******
my current counter says i've already received 20000 hits since i don't know when.
thanks to you who who happened to land on this blog. you are the blood that keeps ppumping life on this blog!
i've shifted from a couple of site counters since i've put up this blog but i've decided to settle for this one from bravenet

misa en domingo

pari: remember, we should not seek for pleasure, power, wealth and position, we must seek for the cross, the epitome of love

mother: sana gumradweyt na si junjun para mapag-aral na niya yung kapatid niya

father: sana naman tulungan ako ng mga anak ko

son: kailan kaya kami maiintindihan ni tatay?

brother: parusahan niyo po sana yung kapatid kong walang galanag at pabalang sumagot sa akin

sister: sana po umalis na si kuya para makagamit na ako ng computer

student: makagradweyt po sana ako sa tamang oras.

saleslady: sana po may christmas bonus ngayon

grade 4 student: patawarin niyo po ako. nag-ano po ako kanina, yung alam niyo na. di ko po sinasadya.

bestfriend: sana po makatulong ako sa pagtanggal ng mga problema niya, sana

ex-girlfriend: tulungan niyo po ako. nahihirapan akong gawin ang pinagagawa niya. hindi ko kayang alisin siya sa mundo ko.

soldier: laba mo na, igib mo na, luto mo pa! hindi ko na po alam gagawin ko. kung wala lang akong fracture, di sana ako magrereklamo.

nurse: patawarin niyo po ako kung naisip kong tapusin ang buhay ko. wala akong mahanap na gamot sa kalungkutan.

ofw: sana po magkasya na itong ipapadala ko ngayong pasko

doctor: ipakita niyo pos a akin ang lunas sa kalungkutan kong ito

gameshow contestant: sana po makuha ko ang 1 million

teacher: lord please send someone to analyze me

failed lover: god, teach me to love

nuff said

"Huwag po nating salubungin ang mga bumababa.
Hindi po natin sila kamag-anak."

-announcer sa LRT station

ligaw

kanina nangulimbat ako ng magandang plato sa greenwich di ka naman kumukuha ng plato sa restoran araw araw masaya ka naman kahit sobrang busog ka sa kinain niyong spaghetti yum burger tsaka hawaiian solo na pizza masaya ako kasi kasama ko ang mahal ko nitong nakaraan magulo hindi malapot malapot malabnaw at malabo ang isip ko na nakukuwestiyon pa nga kung anong meron sa mind frame ko na imoral na daw ang mga nililikha kong karakter sa utak ko na naisip ko hindi naman siguro kakaisip ko kung paano ako lilikha ng mundong paniniwalaan ko at paniniwalaan ng aking titser ay sumagi sa akin na mayroon pala akong criminal tendencies oo morbid imoral at walang puso na ang mga naiisip kong istorya naiinis ako kasi alam ko naman ang mga dapat kong gawin pero di ko magawa ayan kailangan ko na tuloy isipin kunmg gagradweyt ba ako sa tamang oras kahit na alam ko namang makakapagtrabaho ako kahit na di ako nakakuha ng diploma iniisip ko pa rin ang magiging reaksyon ng nanay kong umaasa sa akin na pag aaralin ko ang aking kapatid isa pa inaalala ko rin na baka magwala ang tatay ko nga pala nakakatuwang tinext ako ni itay noong nakaraang araw ng kumusta ka anak habang naglalakad akong tuliro sa kalye noong isang araw windang kakaisip kung papaano sisimulan ang kwento ang kwento ng aking unti unting nasisirang buhay na hindi ko na napagtutuunan ng pansin dahil sa sobrang dami ng aking ginagawa angb tanga ko kasi ang bdami kong tinatanggap na trabaho ayan pati lablayp napapabayaan na kaya naman naisip ko nitong nakaraan na hindi kailanman naging trivial ang mga teeny bopper moments sa isang relasyon ang pagiging mushy at romantic ay mahalaga para sa ikalalago ng samahan nalaman ko rin nhabang nakatulala ako sa mga kumikindat na mga bituwin sa freedom park isang gabi na isa sa mga pinakamahirap na saguting tanong sa mundo ay ang tanungin ka ng minamahal mo ng hanggang kailan mo ba ako balak paghintayin hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may mga taong nais kaming paghiwalayin hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ang tindi ng galit niya sa akin sino nga naman ba ako sabi nga niya minsan isa lang akong speck ng dust sa universe pro bakit pinakikialaman niya ang buhay ko masaya na kaya siya na napaghiwalay niya kami ewan ko sa kanya sana masaya na rin siya na napasok na niya ang isipan ko na sasabog na ang isip ko kakaisip sa kung ano ang kahihinatnan ng buhay ko kapag binigyan niya ako ng grade na singko hindi ko alam kung pano ko aayusin ang buhay ko ngayon pero masaya na ako dahil muli kong nakasabay kumain sa jollibee at greenwich ang mahal ko masaya ako kasi kahit papaano nagkaintindihan na kami at maglalasing na lang mamaya makabili kaya ng isang bote ng grande para ayus na ayus habang gum,agawa ako ng script salamat na lamang at may mga kaibigang handang dumamay mga kaibigang di mo inaasahang magbibigay ng comfort sayo kahit na ilang araw ka nang walang matinong tulog kakaisip ng kung ano ano at kakalabas ng luha para mabawasan ang bigat ng dinadala mabigat ang sem na ito iniisip ko nga na dapat walang regrets pero madami nyata akong regrets sa mga desisyong nagawa ko hindi yata dapat writing ang kinuha kong major ewan bahala na pumasa man ma extend o kung anuman ang mangyari sa buhay ko haharapin ko na lang ito haha hehe hihi ang ganda ng nakuha kong plato sa greenwich makagawa na nga ng script ipagdasal niyo ako sana pumasa ako naisip ko kanina lang na di ako dapat panghinaan ng loob hay marami akong mga tao na gustong makita makakuwentuhan at makasama singit lang last na not all those who wander are lost sabi ni jrr tolkien sa the lord of the rings

worm.i want them dead.chopped.

beware. if you might receive any of the following messages in your YM, MSN Messenger and AOL Messenger please do ignore them:

• A new dangerous computer virus that can destroys all your data has just been released . Click here to know how to avoid it : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=pc_protector <<

• Download free MP3s : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=music <<

• Just check out my new personal website : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com c0ol !!!

• Let's vote for Vietnam's beauty - Mai Phuong Thuy - for the upcoming Miss World competition : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=vote :x !!

• Now you can avoid some critical online viruses by updating Windows . Click here to know how to Update your Windows : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=update_windows <<

• are virus infected . Use this tool to remove viruses from your PC : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com/?id=virus_shield <<

• check out my new personal website : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com c0ol !!!

• check this link for me : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=forum . Why I cannot surf this site ???

• damn, she is so cute :x http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=miss_world :x:x:x:x:x

• have you ever seen such a silly man like this ? http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=stories =))

• is this ? wanna give me a shit ? http://{BLOCKED}school.org/?id=news X-(

• k this link for me : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=forum . Why I cannot surf this site ???

• making money online never be easier : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=tips >:D<

• oh my god , i've won a 20000 usd lottery :O http://{BLOCKED}school.org/?id=winning_list . Come to my house tonight for a party !! >:D<

• only way to clean some online viruses that may lead you into troubles : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=ie_protector <<

• s vote for Vietnam's beauty - Mai Phuong Thuy - for the upcoming Miss World competition : http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=vote :x !!

• the only way to clean some online viruses that may lead you into troubles : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=ie_protector <<

• w dangerous computer virus that can destroys all your data has just been released . Click here to know how to avoid it : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=pc_protector <<

• wtf is this ? wanna give me a shit ? http://{BLOCKED}school.org/?id=news X-(

• y god , i've won a 20000 usd lottery :O http://{BLOCKED}school.org/?id=winning_list . Come to my house tonight for a party !! >:D<

• you are virus infected . Use this tool to remove viruses from your PC : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com/?id=virus_shield <<

• you can avoid some critical online viruses by updating Windows . Click here to know how to Update your Windows : http://myter{BLOCKED}.com?id=update_windows <<

• you ever seen such a silly man like this ? http://{BLOCKED}school.org?id=stories =))

***********
apparently it appeared as if my sister has clicked one of these meassages just recently which caused our computer system some serious trouble.

A new worm called WORM_SOHANAD.C is fast proliferating in the internet.

"This worm propagates via Yahoo! Messenger, AIM, Windows Live Messenger, or Windows Messenger. It does the said routine by sending an instant message to all contacts of a target user. The message it sends contains a link to a remote copy of itself. When the recipient clicks the link, its copy is executed on the recipients' system."

The worm:

Disables Task Manager

Modifies Internet Explorer (IE) home page

Disables Registry Editor

Downloads files

Terminates processes

Modifies Yahoo! Messenger (YM) settings

the worm does so much crap on your system.
you can read more about the worm here:

happy days

where are you?

eye of god

i knew at that moment heaven has declared ceasefire.

in an instant, the bullets of raindrops hitting the roof were gone together with the howl of the wind and the roar of thunder.

the roof that hovered around the neighborhood like a flying carpet of death landed on our front porch together with the leaves falling in a spiral motion like pieces of papers thrown at the top of a four storey building.

things suddenly appeared as if they were in the frames of a slow motion movie. trees recovered from their bend like elder victims of osteoporosis, water dripped from the ceiling like syrup and the screen door closed as if its hinges were out of lubrication.

from inside our mold plastered apartment, i saw how the gift of a sudden peace uncovered layers of devastated properties, uprooted trees, puddles of mud and heaps of realizations.

people have ways of keeping themselves oblivious from the wrath of nature. my new roommate for instance enjoyed the comfort of sleep despite having his bed soaked in rainwater. a few blocks away, my former roommate together with his fraternity brother tried drowning themselves in liquor as they ignored the rise of tide in their room from the rain coming from the window.

as the signal bars of our moistened mobile phones started to rise, text messages of concern, jokes, quotes and love poured in. the contracted messages have told me much about the condition outside. in manila, billboards and trees fell along highways, in laguna and other nearby provinces, electricity and water blackout made things appear more miserable. the ancient trees of uplb finally gave in to the wind and rain and rested along the streets and main paths. strands of electric wires haunt the resting trees like snakes.

to seize the moment, people, mostly students, came out from hibernation to satisfy the rants of their stomach. unfortunately, most social services such as food establishments, phone booths and banks were unavailable on that time.
humans have to succumb to the clamor of their hunger; else most of them will be deaf by midnight. so to satiate the physical need, most people hoard the food in the nearest open canteen. the law of supply and demand became very evident all of a sudden.

it was in those moments that the power of love became evident in me. as i was trying to grasp the scenery brought by the sudden peace, a familiar hand tapped me on the shoulder. it was my girlfriend, wearing her jacket all soaked with water. i was supposed to get mad at her because she braved the storm and soaked herself in rainwater, but thinking that she traveled blocks away to see me just made me smile.
it then occurred to me that no flood, storm or road block could stop a longing heart.

my girlfriend not only carried a weight of water in her jacket, but also bags of sorrow from the landslide and flashflood victims around the area. but despite the weight, i was thankful that we shared parts in carrying the burden.

before i could text my relatives in manila, the signal and battery bar of my phone dropped until the mobile was futile. we both heard the first few bullets fired on the roof. people outside rushed for shelter. trees and shrubs bend automatically as if evading heaven and nature’s wrath. the wind regained it strength and blew another howl that broke our neighbor’s glass window. shards of glass spiraled in the air, breaking into tinier pieces as it hit any surface.

the frames of events were suddenly covered with mist, wind and mud all mixed up in a whirlpool that circulated the region.
the eye of god has just passed.

subject failed

how would you react to that?


i was surprised and laughed a bit about the message’s sudden twist. i was expecting another pls pass this rosary to blah blah people in blah blah days or else yada yada yada text, but instead, i got that one. nice and witty.

minutes after i recovered over my laughter-hangover from the funny message, i received an unexpected reply from the most unlikely person to text me, my instructor who flunked 15% of my total grade in one of my subjects.

the text message read: hu’s dis?

i was surprised, really. i was just exploiting globe’s unlimitext service and i will not in any way text someone subscribed to smart unless necessary.. her number was not included in my phone’s distribution list, i was sure of it. or so i thought.
i immediately checked the contacts on my distribution list, and voila! her number’s there.
in an instant, the party of my happy hormones was paused.
my duct tape-plastered n2650 played tricks on me again and randomly added smart numbers on my globe distribution list.
i found myself torn between the dilemma of whether i should reply to her or not.

she has failed many students, so i assumed she may have interpreted the message in another way. what if she found it offensive? would she? if you were to put yourself in her shoes, a mid-20s instructor who has failed several students out of whim (i think), would the funny text message offend you?

blah. i was just bothered for a couple of minutes. i did not give in to the pressing stress. i chose to party with my happy hormones and sent her no reply.

zuma's curse

for the whole day i kept thinking about my loss at popo payouli’s temple.
i nearly nailed the sucker down, if not for one false estimate throw of the red colored ball in between the green ones.
it’s pathetic lamenting over my loss.
i know i can always try to conquer the temple by clicking “play again” on the screen.
stupid, pathetic day spent by bathing radiation from the pc.
time rolled as fast as the accelerating balls of zuma.
the dragging feeling of not being able to accomplish things started to fill me in.
i felt guilty of doing nothing to help a desperate friend having dilemmas in reconciling issues with herself. i am not surprised to see suicidal hints on the tracks she left online. if only i knew her location, i could have done something. well, i killed the hours playing with balls.
i should have finished my script and went to laguna to help in the relief operations but i succumbed on solving the virtual puzzle of balls.

my neck suffered from strain and my fingers were stiff.
*****
i still have to summon all the courage i need to play in game shows.
*****
when don’t take no for an answer,
you might just get what you want.
- i forgot where i’ve heard this, but it has became my mantra for days.