of colons and an open parethesis

and hopefully an ellipsis 

only if

you can read this
then you can own it
but you see, this may or may not be for you
because this message is an expression
of gratitude
to that who pursues and makes
the stars seem more alive and brighter
with passion and positive
energy
:)

foreshadowing

remember when we rode the roller coaster together?
that's when i lost my key to your house.

jason mraz

used

to

love you

:)

quoting zafra on may 17th

It is foolish to surrender and foolish to resist. You know it will not last. No matter how happy you are there is always a tinge of sadness—you are already looking at yourself from the future, when you are older and wiser and it is over. 

excerpt from here  

sleeves

:)

yes!

in another universe, today could have been the what have been

05-17-13

you never read this place in cyberspace anyway.
this is no youtube so why bother.

but today could have been the day of a lot of what could have beens should we still be together. you know?

yeah, you already know most of the things that i want to tell you.

just do great cause you are.

you have heard and seen all my messages.
and thanks to you, i now know more about my capacity to love.

hopefully you found someone who will never give up on you.
ever.

:)

have a great day.

you know who you are. yes, this is for you, you dick.

and because you really own nothing

no, not your body
not even your life
you should just let go and
float

because really if you think about it,
you and all the other creatures and beings and things in this universe are all forms of energy and
that
if you really think about it
you owe the universe
and no one
nothing

:)

because things i write here should never be taken seriously
plus, aside from bots and advertisers who stumble upon this blog, who actually reads this?
in any case, i smile.

good day to you, one soul of the world who actually reads this up to this point.

i earnestly wish you the blessing of finding that person who will love you and never leave you and accept you for whoever you are. you know, someone who actually never gives up. :)

that would really be nice.

and yes, don;t forget to fucking smile.

that gives you a nicer skin.

and a more positive aura.

you know?

Big things, small things, things

But know this, Susan, my sweet: my true coffin is orbiting the moon. It looks like a flying teacup. They gave me back the world, and you, for a little while. Last time I told you, or someone like you, the truth, or what I knew of it, you walked out on me, but I don't dare risk it again. So I'm going to write this down, and you'll be given it with the rest of my papers when I'm one. Good-bye.
They may be heartless, unfeeling computerized bastards leeching off the minds of what's left of humanity. But I can't help feeling grateful to them.
I'll die soon. but the last 20 minutes have been the best years of my life. 

- From Goliath/ Fragile things by Neil gaiman 

0517

i mean if the fortune tellers (who claim that i will live long) would be proven wrong by this immediate universe and realities, then I may have to reconsider using the word weird loosely.

you know i cannot just describe my experiences, the people, and my feelings as weird.

perhaps i should get out of my shell and actually learn to use weird more appropriately.

i write so that by the time my current physical being cease to exist in its form, i leave something.

something that won't be so weird even if most of it speaks of love and other things which is uhm err, weird.

and again

i am
really
sorry

shut the fat down

caveat: random post which may not make any sense coming right up


sometimes you want to.
where the fuck is the shutdown button again?
haha
channeling the secret now.
fuckin jason mraz on the radio again? come on.
and you just want to fuckin shutdown
why oh why when it rains, it gives you a signal number 4 typhoon?
come the fuck on. haha.
:)
:)
:)
have you ever hugged or kissed anyone who never reacted to you at all?
that's how it is. i mean, this lingering feeling of shittiness. lol
and how do i make this post invisible?
it's like the fats that a lot of people trying to hide.
or something like that.
:)
aaand i smile.

:)

shaving face

and it is strange enough that the act reminds me highly of you and how you actually shave my face because apparently i am bad at that department/

red light

he wants me stop
but sorry,
i won't.

afraid

to ask
because

answers
are

fuckin

scary

most of the times.

some things

-.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / .. / -- .. ... ... ..--.. / -.-. --- --- -.- .. -. --. / -. .- -.- . -.. / .-- .. - .... / -.-- --- ..-

smog

there's smoke
in the valley
it's foggy
inside
people are
fuming
smoke comes from
the
inside
of lungs and
ribcages holding
human beating fragile
heart

tell you what

a true, genuine friend
judges not
and
questions not
the friendship at any point
:)

pop

gum is my cigarette. it’s been months and this seemingly incessant chewing became a habit, a sort of addiction that i crave throughout my day.

boxes of gum accompany me as i sat here at my faux leather seat encased in a frame of darkly varnished carved wood. the bar is relatively dark inside. there are no actual windows, just levels and layers of furniture and light fixtures accentuating the seemingly blank but damp walls.

on one corner of this place devoid of natural light, i sat on my table with my ice cream and my box of gum.

the place is called misfits, although you can rarely spot an actual misfit here. people are layered, clothed, and cloaked. most of them move surreptitiously in calculated movements. each may or may not carry a gun but if ever they do i doubt that they will use it for violence.

men here are always in fashion. most of them are experts in wearing plaids and watches of emotions. there are coats of desires. jackets of experiences, vests of questions and numerous blazers of affection and accessories made with jewelry pieces made from an insatiable sea of longing is the fad here.

i sat here at my spot almost every day after i quit work. this is what i chew aside from the gum. i chew this dark, very moody, and pseudo noir scenery. they smoke, i don’t. they laugh, crack jokes, and drink like crazy. but me? i chew.
i chew a lot. i like details. i chew them.

most of the time.

i won’t be surprised if anyone can find gum deposits at my lungs and probably somewhere inside my intestines clinging along its walls.