second hand lovers

the nose weeps over the temporary death of the taste buds.

the mucus factory produces a freeflow of twin river that drowns the semi-parched lips that experienced three full glasses of tequila-margarita just a few minutes ago.

the post-punk revival music of the virgins and the alternative electric rock of silversun pick-ups salvage the ears from the verge of explosion due to excessive exposure to high decibels of emotional noise.

e-wolf

i guess the full moon gives me the permission to howl: i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu all night.

ayaw pa?

what else could i say? everyone is gay

somewhere in the blogosphere, somebody wrote and posted- “sa panahon ngayon, ruler na lang ang straight” (the only straight thing during these times is a ruler) which opens another portal to the seemingly infinite discussion about an individual’s being straight in relation to his/her sexual preference and orientation.

over some place in this planet, someone is wondering if vanity makes one gay. groups of individuals are discussing whether excessive charm towards girls and women makes a person gay. in some intersection across the internet highways, people from various ip addresses around the globe are arguing if the visibility of erect and pointed nipples under your t-shirt makes you gay. in some sectarian highschool in a semi-religious third world country, a mathematics teacher confronts and accuses a student of being gay because of his talkative behavior. behind the closed doors of his room, someone is asking himself if his jolly and extremely extroverted personality counts in the gay meter of the society.

the straight and gay label attributed by the society to each and every individual varies on ideologies, social groups, morals, beliefs and personal outlook in life.

over the weekend i saw jesse rosen’s the art of being straight. it is a film about two college graduates, jon (jesse rosen) and maddy (rachel castillo), and their struggles and discoveries about themselves and their sexualities. maddy is the museum and art gallery person who is involved with a girl. she openly claims that she’s a lesbian but does not deny her occassional attraction to men. jon on the otherhand, is a newly hired ad agency assistant who possesses characteristics (such as being too clean, being attractive, being modest, being a cassanova, being too nice) that could make him gay. he becomes involved with his male boss on several occasions while still sleeping with other women on the side. most of his buddies tease him gay, but he never admits being one.

the film’s attempt to show the struggles of an individual who had so much internal conflict regarding his sexuality is actually ok. despite its lack of tension and action, i think the movie somehow puts its point across the table to its audience- that like art, being straight is subjective. like art, being straight depends on the person viewing and assessing the situation. like art, being straight is not as absolute as black and white.

subjecting yourself to the society’s judgment is like entering a mirrorhouse and seeing yourself through various mirrors that can either make you look curved, decapitated, spheroid, doubled, bended, etc.

in the movie, i like how jon deals with his internal issues by following his desires and by staying true to himself. i assume he accepts the fact about the inevitable judgments from his society, while internally dismissing his subscription to the prescribed labels of straight or gay.

walking on spiderweb

as tummy issues reach the higher authorities of the brain, a fictitious creature from a fast fading lucid state of mind told me that the fall from the walk on a spiderweb can give you the experience of something like losing that crazy feeling when you fall in love.

+++++++

i feel like a character from one of john ajvide lindqvist’s novels- that one who grows brain cells in the heart. it’s as if there is an independent creature that feeds on the heart and will continue to thrive on my system even if i die.

i think it is something that eats away emotions and drinks the blood that runs non-stop on all of its chambers.

side effects include heightened perception of the senses, allergic reactions to the faintest light of hope, rapid healing of the cells and the futility of breathing- slowly, the body adapts to the new order and learns to breathe through other means aside from the respiratory system.

if it kills me

palagay ko malala pa ako sa mga yosi-addicts. di kita matigilan.

sabi sa nabasa ko noon, one yosi stick a day takes away three days from your life.

pero kapag yosi addict at dependent ka na, di na madaling alisin sa sistema mo yun even if it slowly kills you.

ikaw, a day without you is like taking away years from my timeline.

i will never stop, even if it kills me.

-mental note na nahalungkat sa may agiw agiw na parte ng utak

(cue kanta ni roberta flack: killing me softly)

i need a headcut

photo taken at an asian salon somewhere in nevada

rolling stones

the winter air of the 9th night of the 12th is so cold it burns. it permeates the body deeper and faster than any other virus known to science and to man. despite its stinging like a cold and newly sharpened knife, it still provides comfort, something like a spiritual warmth, a metaphorical embrace to the lone traveler waiting for bus 763.

echoing murakami

“not to brag, but these girls probably don’t know as much as i do about pain. and, quite naturally, there might not be a need for them to know it.”

-haruki murakami, what i talk about when i talk about running, chapter 5 (translated from japanese by philip gabriel)

out and about man’s lunacy in duncan jones’ moon

at a certain point on the course of the vicious cycle of the clones’ life, reality will knock hard on the doors of their senses that will let the outer space air of enlightenment and hope enter their souls and humanity.

duncan jones’ film, moon (2009), is a genius masterpiece of its sci-fi kind. it is that kind of movie that probes the deeper regions of human emotions and subconsciousness. it questions the established moral and ethical codes of societies and it presents possible outcomes of mankind’s greed, manipulative nature, and masstarvation of power.

moon is set in a time when a company called lunar industries provides the cheap and necessary clean energy to earth from helium-3 extracts from lunar soil.

it follows the story of sam bell (sam rockwell) and his 3 year contract as the astronaut in a remote lunar station. he is accompanied by gerty, the robot that flashes disturbing yellow emoticons who helps him through the duration of his mission to man the station and to find more helium-3 extracts.

the opportunity cost of sam’s astronomical endeavor is his supposed to be quality time with his wife and daughter.

duncan jone’s direction and nathan parker’s screenplay will guide your senses slowly and deeply into the life of a lone astronaut living on the far side of the moon. the seemingly slow pace of the film, the a la big brother house/mental ward feel atmosphere, plus the chilly, mysterious, melancholic score and music of clint mansell provides the perfect set-up to set you in the mood and feel the character’s boredom, loneliness, anger, longing and hope.

sam’s discovery of his existence as a clone as well as the presence of other clones led him to challenge the system and think of creative ways to break loose from his lunar prison.

see, this movie is like drug that gives that “high” feeling of drowsiness, excitement and fear all rolled into one. this is definitely for the win.
if only sam’s character could have shown more violence, the titles clone rebel or the attack of the clone or the clone strikes back would be perfect.

like a full, blue, moon, on the cloud tainted sky, this movie remains as a mysterious and glowing work of science fiction.

it is mary and max’s friendship that reminded me to love myself more

watching the growth of the relationship between mary and max strengthens my belief that long distance relationships can actually work, given that both parties make a constant effort to communicate and to satisfy the needs of each other.

adam elliot’s stop motion claymation (clay animation) story about the australian mary daisy dinkle and the new yorker max jerry horowitz shows a friendship that defies the boundaries of time, age, belief, social status and space.




the film starts with the introduction of the 8 year 3 months and nine days old mary daisy dinkle. she had a birthmark the color of poo. her favorite food is sweetened condensed milk. she would like to have a real friend who isn’t made out of seashells, twigs or chicken bones.

meanwhile, on the other side of the world exists max jerry horowitz a 300 pound atheistic jewish who has aspergers syndrome and an addiction to chocolate hotdogs. he once worked in a condom factory but never used one. max longs for a friend who isn’t invisible.

one day, mary decides to pick a random name from a united states residential directory listing. as if conspired by the vast unfathomable universe, mary’s finger landed on max’s contact information. she then sends him her first letter that will ignite the sparks of their continuous correspondence. in time, mary and max became best friends talking about their life, their frustrations, their, simple sources of joy, their anxieties, depression, dreams and love.

throughout the course of the film, we can see how mary and max grows to develop and nurture their long distance relationship with hope and the comfort that somewhere out there, somebody us willing to listen to whatever you say without prejudice. they keep each other satisfied with the feeling that there will always be someone who will accept them despite their numerous imperfections and frustrations in life. of course, we also see some of the downfalls of long distance relationships. immediate comfort can never happen. the absence of physical contact can add up to the welling hole of insatiable longing. and of course, most delayed reactions for certain acts that requires instant attention often causes a tragic results.

the story of these two individuals also shows us that although there are millions of things that we cannot choose and we cannot control in life, we can at least choose our friends. mary and max choose to be friends with each other and continue their friendship through their exchange of letters.

at the end of the film, i realized that relationships whether long distance or not, will work best if both parties possess and exhibit self-love. self-love is essential in order for other people to love you. do appreciate, believe and love yourself in the first place, and the rest of the world will follow.

this wonderfully crafted claymation often appears dark and gloomy (no, it’s not the monochromatic treatment, mind you) but it never forgets to inject its own version of life’s jokes and comedies throughout the movie. no wonder it became the special selection during the opening night of the 2009 sundance film festival. since then, it has gained numerous awards from film and animation festivals all around the globe.

*watch the trailer here