wishing on a dead star

i wish

i could still

share

my life

with you


i wish we could still go to the movies

i wish we could still watch artsy films

i wish we could still go to the beach together

i wish we could still hold hands

i wish we could still touch and match our squared shaped fingernails

i wish we could still tell secrets

i wish we could still walk naked around the living room during long weekends

i wish we could still enjoy a simple home cooked dinner

i wish we could still go on trips together

i wish we could still massage each other's backs

i wish we could still do spas and massage together

i wish we could still watch plays together

i wish we could still do the la film fest together

i wish we could still kiss with passion

i wish we could still cuddle

i wish we could still go to theme parks

i wish we could still drive aimlessly anywhere

i wish we could still eat at sushi koo

i wish we could still see the stars and the city lights on top of any hill in la together

i wish we could still have coffee and chill at angel knoll park

i wish we could still sing defying gravity together

i wish we could still make fun of each other

i wish we could still joke around each other

i wish we could do things that we planned before

i wish we could still make art together

i wish we could still shoot headshots of people together

i wish we could still go to random sex shops together

i wish we could still eat at jollibee and chowking together

i wish we could still go out on december when the scheduled end of the world according to the mayan calendar happens

i wish we could still have coffee together

i wish we could still go to moca or any other museums together

i wish we could still kiss at the subway train oblivious of the other passengers

i wish we could still kiss on the street

i wish we could still watch the soapbox race. i will carry you this time

i wish we could still play wrestling and fighting together (i love it when we do that and you know you always win)

i wish we could still kiss in front of a bigot lady who hates homosexuals

i wish we could still eat at thai restaurants

i wish we could still ride the roller coaster together

i wish we could just sit down and chill at the beach together

i wish we could still get drunk together

i wish we could still get high together

i wish we could still make love anywhere

i wish we could still make plans together

i wish we could still eat at the best fish taco

i wish we could still dine at yojie together

i wish we could still spend an afternoon at pasadena together

i wish we could still window shop together

i wish we could still go to the los angeles diagon alley you told me

i wish we could still borrow each other's clothes

i wish we could still shoot together

i wish we could go to bookstores together

i wish we could still walk randomly at hollywood

i wish we could still eat at byrds

i wish we could still spend some time together at bourgeois pig

i wish we could still go to church together

i wish we could still sing i wont give up together

i wish we could still embrace each other

i wish we could find the magic back

i wish we could find the spark back

i wish we could still marry

i wish i could still meet your dad

i wish i could still meet your mom and step mom

i wish i could still take your photos

i wish i could still give you actual white roses instead of just taking photos of them

i wish i could still rub your feet

i wish i could still feel your warmth

i wish i could still cook sinigang for you

i wish you could still read my one act play

i wish you could still take my photos

i wish that you could still take me to the us stop under the bridge

i wish you could still tell me what's wrong with me

i wish that you still trust me

i wish i could still watch your plays over and over

i wish i could still help you clean apartments or whatever it is that needs cleaning

i wish i could at least help you in your video projects

i wish i could still clap for you and be proud of you in front of a lot of people

i wish i could still cry on you

i wish that you will always remember me no matter what happens

i wish that you will never ever forget how much i love you and that that love would stay with me as soon as i live

i wish you could still tell me to not leave my family, and that family is important

i wish that one day i would see your car parked somewhere close to where i am and then we will just go somewhere else

i wish i could still call you as often as i like

i wish i could still share my deepest problems with you

i wish i could at least make you smile, and then laugh. laughter would be great

i wish i could grow old with you

i wish, somewhere down the line that we could still call each other "mine"
(remember when you asked me - "could you be mine? can i keep you?"

i wish i could turn back time
and not act as a failure
and make things better
and not to make you feel like you don't want me anymore
and not to make you feel like we can't make whatever we have work
and not make us both feel sad
because i love you and i still do and i will always do.
i wish i could change things.

i wish, that if i promise to be a good boy, to be a better man, that my wishes would be granted.

i wish

i wish

i wish that this wishful thinking of sort could make sort of friends be close friends or even more than close friends again

i wish.


***
mahal na mahal kita