the consequence of unannounced trips

I was damped in shackles of guilt and am experiencing personal turmoils. I am still hoping that christmas will be fine for me as well as for you.

She mocks me all the time. She would hit me whenever we see each other. She would pull my hair, she would bite me, she would do anything just to annoy me-and eventually try to ruin me. That's her. And I accepted her like that. Still, I come to her house to celebrate her birthday every Christmas.


Our relationship started with a clash.
It was after we got dismissed from class, 2nd year HS, at the Parish Hall Lobby, ICPS.
I just asked her if she was the girl my friends were making noise of, and she answered me with raised eyebrows and a cold "So what?"
Since then, I perceived her as typical highschool bitch, enjoying the attention she's getting from the boys and even girls around her-but I was proven wrong.
Since then, Christmas was never the same for me.

It was a long roller-coaster story back then, but our relationship was sparked on our telephone conversations. Almost everyday, we chat on the phone about anything we could possibly talk about (sex, love, life, tv, movies, radio, etc). Through the phone we shared sentiments; through the phone, I realized that I've found a real friend, a treasure for keep.

For 5 years, we remained close, though we we're literally miles apart. (Iam studying in Laguna; and she, at Manila) We were just voices-connected, and I was proud that though we rarely see each other, we still managed to keep that certain connection between us.

One of my ways to keep that connection was to visit her every Christmas during her birthday celebration. It was a sort of get together with other friends and former classmates, and was only the time to catch up with each other's lives.
Yes. I go to her place every christmas.
She need not tell me about it.
It already became a part of my system.
She was a part of my system.

This year, I was all ready for my usual yearly routine, when a sudden decision from my father came.
We are about to spend our Christmas in Ilocos.
When I heard about it, most of my plans were crumbled into rubbles.
I was flabbergasted by the sudden change of plans.

I told her about it.
Silence.
She expressed her concocted feelings of sorrow and anger.
I don't know how will I be able to make it up with her.
This Christmas will be different.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She was the most unlikely person I expected to be my friend.
Amidst our ironies, we glue at a certain point.
And that's what I like about our friendship.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nene,
Thank you for always being there.
Thank you for just being there.
Even though we're apart, and just voices-connected, you still remained to be true.
You've taught me many lessons in life.
Althouh I dont usually tell you this, it's actually true-
you've made me a better person.
No matter what they say about you, you will still be my friend.

Sorry. I know it's not enough. I know i can't make it up to you in anyway, but I tell you, I am in deep remorse that I will never be able to make it to your birthday this Christmas. Sorry.
I love you friend.
Happy Birthday.