the drop

we met online.

this is the short version of our brief story.

i accidentally found you at the digital meeting ground as my roommate searches for an alternative companion in life.

your round, hazel, beady eyes caught my attention and took me away from the waves of distractions flashing in front of me.

your profile tells us how far away you lives but me and my friend still decided to travel.

it's worth it.

you greeted us with your warm smile. there is something in your unkept black and brown hair that resonates charm and innocence. it was an instant connection.

i really like you but my friend wanted you.

he took you home.

i was really happy for him because i know he really likes you.
a lot.
from the moment he set eyes on you i knew that he would do anything to get you.

i was happy for you both.

i was happy because i get to see you often. your warm hugs, your smile, and your stare that pierces my walls and goes straight to the inner trenches of my soul- never fails to captivate me.

i don't know much about you but there is something inside me that draws me close to solitude.

whenever you look at me i feel sadness. not like a suicidal kind of sadness but just something that is plain sad. there is longingness in there. you know that feeling when you just wanna hug somebody all the time to comfort them? that kind of feeling.

our interactions were brief.

i only get to see you in between work or whenever we all hangout together.

then newsflash.
amber alert.

you were sick. like the cliche scenario in most dramatic telenovelas and like when romantic books-turned-to-movies-kind-of-way turn of events happen- you were sick.

we didn't know. nobody knows actually. your profile did not say anything about it.

my instinct kind of knows. my gut (as olivia pope would always say) told me something.

point is, you have to go.

you have to leave.

as soon as the news break out familiar feelings of sadness, longing, powerlessness, and their relatives create undulating waves creating chaos inside me.

farewells. i know these feelings. i should know how to deal with this way better at tis point in my life.

there is something oddly comforting about this familiar feeling of longing and the uncertainty of not knowing what's ahead.

it's like riding a rollercoaster as it ascends you way up to the drop point. this is the feeling you have before it drops. you know you gonna be dropped but the uncertainty of when you will be dropped is creating this churning chaos inside you. that feeling is what i felt.

and then drop.

from that point on you just gotta let go and enjoy the ride and trust that you will never fall in between and crash your skull and break your bones and eventually survive in a morbid kind of way.

it's crazy when feelings develop and then the universe tells you to let go quick.

that's our journey.

our brief rollercoaster journey.

farewell to you alice.

wishing you the best and hopefully you find the right person to adopt you from the shelter.

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