dear aquarius monkey

just take it this way, the more he yells and screams and strips the hell out your ego like a mad tyrant suffering from andropose, the more he loves you. i remembered he told me that back when i was young. you have to understand that he has developed his primary basis for showing care and affection in inflicting pain. for twenty one or more years, he has unconsciously cultivated his habit of throwing you reverse psychological and mental attacks to show you his love and affection.

i envy you. seriously. i envy you for thousands of reasons. for one, he really wanted you to get well, he wanted you to act well, and to have a life far better from what he had. another thing, you don’t sow grudges in your heart. i admire you for that. as i have observed you over the years, you could easily reconcile your emotions and your relationship with him after hours of lashing you with his verbal litany.

don’t get mad at him. he never pinned you at the wall yet has he? he never threatened to cut your fingers when you were young, he never punched you in the face, he never slapped both your cheeks the night before you go to school, he never ripped your clothes off yet (to emphasize your dependence on him), he never bitchslap your ass with all varieties of belts (from the buckled military types to the hardest leather you can imagine), he never force-fed you with a master bowl of rice plus viand, he never accused you of being a drug addict, he never told you to walk in tears plus bruises plus scratches in the middle of the street to his hell-turned office to grill you till the verge of mental retardation, he never went that extreme to you yet. well, physically that is.

i’m sorry about what happened. trust me, i know how his verbal thrusts in your heart and mind could be more painful from any physical pain he inflicted on me. his verbal assaults directly enter the mind through your ears, through your pores, and through your senses. it instantly penetrates your bloodstream and affects your system. it was way different from receiving punches from him, since my ribcage, my veins, my skin, my muscles and my arms could protect my heart.

take it as a challenge. you have to grow up in wisdom. make not your age the basis of your maturity. it is only a trivial element used to limit your capacity. you are more than what you think you are. so rise now. get yourself up from self pity, and never wallow on the enticing negative atmosphere around you.

it’s time to wake up, dear aquarius monkey. he just wanted the best for you. i do want all great things for you. but you have to know that it’s not enough getting support from people around you. you should never be contented with your comforts, but rather try your best to always strive for something new for your personal growth.

take care, always. you are loved.

gemini tiger


Anonymous said...

This blog is sick and sad, you're pretty much looking for light in a shit filled cavern.
Hopeless Hopefullness, really.
I feared that this blog was about my ex, but it's clear it isn't. It's just some sad soul that your enableing.

Anonymous said...

ang sweet naman!
( ~.^)

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