when the office clock stopped at 845 and bullets of things i learned this year

-most of the time, a lot of things people say and do doesn't have to have meaning. if you think about it too much, you can go batshit crazy. a lot of times people say and do things even if they don't mean it. that being said, trusting anyone (including myself) is a challenge. but there is always faith. no matter how much you doubt other people and yourself, as long as you have faith in something or someone, it may work. leaps of faith must be done. risks must be made in order to move forward. and trust? i dunno about trust anymore but  you just gotta believe and hold on to some things to keep your sanity.

-what sucks? the fact that a lot of beautiful and wonderful amazing fucking things end. 

-what sucks more? you failing in a lot of things and being consistently mad at yourself for not making things work. 

-faking it till you make it works. try saying i'm ok most of the time and you will be ok in a mediocre kind of way.

-i wish people won't leave. i mean i know they will always do, but fuck it. what's wrong in wishing that some people may stay with you for a longer time?

-seeing families and couples doing great warms my heart and sprinkles a lil bit of sadness in my life. i am glad for all of those relationships that worked. :) 

-sure, i may look and appear ok, but uhm please don't let me go completely. i need you. and i really fuckin love you and need you. :(

-must.wake.up. to this seemingly disillusions and fantasies of us being together and really really ok like before. i will wake up soon. i should. i must. 

-be thankful of what you have. like really fuhreals.

-confidence is king and sexy

-life is fucking shitty so lessen the fuckin drama

-love and never cease to love even if it fuckin breaks you into pieces. it is better to love than to succumb in wrath and spite and other negative stuff

-like hunger, hurt, feelings of loneliness, despair, etc would eventually pass. (and return)

-if possible, lessen or have no expectations at all. expectations eventually yield pain and disappointment if not met

-never ever regret or be sad about anything that you do out of love. if it's based from love, never be ashamed of it. someday, maybe, hopefully the world and the universe will appreciate your efforts.

- :)

-refrain from investing too much meaning on dates and events. they are by themselves just mere dates and events. see, christmas, new years, thanksgiving etc- they are just nothing but arbitrary events created by the society for people. so what if no one comes to celebrate these events with you? be thankful that you are still alive. you can never ever force people to make you their priority.

-learn to apply the things you tell others to yourself. you know the drill. you know the formula. make it happen.

-always pray. it still works.

-be more positive.

-keep loving.