memoirs of an out of body experience #031112

after flying, soaring and leaping higher than john carter of mars, i think i would never be afraid of roller coasters again.

it was one hell of a journey last night. my mind still screams crazy trip to the outerspace and back to the realms of middle earth. oh boy do i remember things.

although time moved an hour forward, i still feel that i move faster.

time and space travel was possible last night. thanks to that small chunk of processed goodness that acted as a perfect panacea (though temporary) and elixir for the human body and soul.

i think the experience answers a lot of why’s from my consciousness. why people seek it, why people do it, why people becomes dependent to it, why some people don’t want themselves to be touched, why some people does not respond, why a lot of people would most likely do it again. yeah, i think most of the whys running surreptitiously under the small crevices of my consciousness have been put at ease.

the freakin’ chunk of processed goodness will take you to several levels of altered consciousness.
i know every individual reacts differently to it but last night, it possessed me slow.

it felt like it embraced my heart, made it feel warm and welcome, then climbed up my brain to anchor itself and to spread it’s thousands of tiny arms down my neck, to my shoulders, to my back, to my legs and to my feet. it’s an entity that divides and multiplies as it tries to assimilate your system.

when numbness arrived and bathed me with its cold embrace, i discovered that i could fly as high as i can ever imagine. it was a fleeting, non-stop ride. i swear by my altered consciousness that i have been to outer space, have seen the planets, have swam across a sea of clouds, have ridden the couch over mountains and hills, have seen and banished gandalf in a forest, have turned a plastic bag into a royal sword, and have pulled myself together into a really tiny being so that one can finally keep me into a safe place.

if the chunk of processed goodness is a monster, then it is a powerful one. it’s tricky because it makes you feel good and happy. and if sheryl crow will sing to you “if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad” the whole time, it will drive you nuts.

honestly though, being in and out of various levels of altered consciousness feels amazing. amazing in the sense that anything is possible. in fact, i remember saying that was able to conjure that tangible signed object that i have been longing to have for quite some time.

one major point that i’ve realized though: laughing/happiness (if ever you can actually equate happiness with laughing) is painful. i remember laughing incessantly like my body feels like it has to give out a laugh or else i will explode, die or disappear. i remember laughing while crying. i was crying because i really don’t want to laugh but i feel like i have to. it’s like laughter, as a curse, have colonized my system. that’s like having laughter as a disease. i was laughing nonstop, like a maniac, but inside me i really don’t feel like laughing at all.

in any case, will i be back to those psychedelic bizaare worlds? maybe yes, maybe not.

if it takes away certain fears from my system then why not?

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