thank you vanilla

i wonder if reuben mattus felt moments of clarity and peace after tasting his first vanilla ice cream creation. the concocted butterfat and vanilla brought me several seconds of pure bliss. it was one of those rare feelings of happiness that you feel after shutting your mind away from the noise of your thoughts and veering your heart away from the roller coaster of emotions that you try to control.

the häagen-dazs ice cream brought me to a smooth ride of introspection through the past weeks where almost every day was a battle with emotions that send hundreds of blows of pain to the chest, emotions that rupture the control of the sweat glands, emotions that force the heart to pump thrice as fast as before, emotions that turn the stomach upside down, emotions that shut the rationality, emotions that excite the curiosity, emotions that erase the line between reality and fantasy, emotions that blur the uncertainties of the future and emotions that create chains of attachment.

it has been tough for i have limited forms of refuge. dark chocolates and ice creams provide a temporary relief to the wounded heart and mind, but the frequent and almost incessant blows, of the army of emotions could rock even the strongest wall of steel that you have built around your senses.

it has been a battle like that of minas tirith on middle earth. it could probably be compared to the second world war, only this time, the emotions of the heart wage war against the rationalities of the mind. it was a battle of david against goliaths of emotions that tower over my senses, consuming every ounce of courage i have in my system, attacking every fiber of defense left inside me.

no, it was never the army of love. for love is more fierce, and compelling, and powerful.

it could have been a new form of passion, a new concoction of lust and raw excitement with heaps of experimental acquaintances and bold efforts to create boundless connections to bodies, to minds and to souls.

i fought the battle with as much mind and will power but the fortress of the mind has grown weak through days of non-stop emotional blows.

i was defeated.

i succumbed to the army of emotions that conquered my system. i bathe with it, i sleep with it, i wake up with it and i breathe it.

for days i was enslaved by the myriad of overwhelming emotions that nearly devoured the rationality of my senses. thanks to the minutes of clarity and peace brought to me by the vanilla ice cream, i was able to recover from my defeat.

the difference among the wars of minas tirith, the past world wars, and the war of the emotions versus the mind, is the recovery period. both the wars of the middle earth and the past world wars created casualties that required years to recover but the aftermath of the mind’s war with emotions can be repaired and healed in minutes.

for the mind, it takes acceptance that there will be times in life when the army of emotions will emerge victorious from the battle. but this does not mean total surrender. the mind can condition the senses to reconcile with the emotions and channel them in as many areas of life as possible to gradually gain back control over them.

the minutes of clarity and peace i experienced from the vanilla ice cream helped my senses get back to their feet and eventually regain control over the sea of emotions.

maybe reuben mattus created the vanilla häagen-dazs to remind people to enjoy the good things in life while they last. you can only savor the moderately sweetened, smooth vanilla flavor of the ice cream in your tongue down to your mouth for a certain period. the calming and relaxing effect of the flavors that linger on your tongue will eventually melt with the butterfat, the vanilla, the sugar, and all the other ingredients of the ice cream.