it is only a few hours before christmas and the christmas lights attached to our window grills has never showed any flicker of hope that it will share even a faint light.
this will be the fourth consecutive year where my family and i will spend christmas in the house free of decorations and other christmas-related materials. i bet this christmas will be the same; it will just be the same old furniture set and just a few more people vying for gifts and food, but aside from that, nothing more.
lately, i’ve been missing the “christmas feeling” that i used to feel when i was younger.
the air of christmas back when i was a kid seemed to be lost somewhere.
colorful lights that usually add up joy and liven up the christmas spirit were less visible. sincerity slowly crawled away from children singing carols.
i recalled about ten years ago how my friends and i would create improvised instruments from used milk cans and flattened soda bottle caps. caroling back then was more of a form of a get-together activity; the gifts and money we received were just bonuses.
sadly, most children today would go in solitaire and sing a few lines of a carol then beg for money.
i have heard many people’s claim about not feeling the christmas spirit lately. maybe the economy and the society in general have something to do with it. economic instability, stress, personal issues, material insatiability and alike somehow blocked the christmas air from being felt by the majority.
over coffee, i asked a friend about the whereabouts of the lost “christmas feeling” that we had when we were young. i told her my observations about the evolution of the society, and the speed of its change which in turn could have affected the loss of the “christmas feeling.”
“the christmas feeling was never gone. it’s just that we were growing old.”
really? i took another look at the streets. still, there were plenty of lights, a few children still march on the road to sing their carols, and glittery christmas decors were still hung in most places.
she could be right. the “christmas feeling” was never lost. i just grew older.
old people tend to be less perceptive of the simplicity of the “christmas feeling” because of too much preoccupation with the world.
over the past four years, i have allowed the world to take from me the “christmas feeling” that happened to be one of the reasons that made the day extraordinary than the rest. i was so busy dealing with the world that i was not able to check the wires and the bulbs of the christmas lights attached on our window grills.
the wires were torn, and the bulbs were broken.
i still have a few hours to replace the bulbs and fix the wires. a faint hope that the bulbs can still light this christmas, and that somehow, by any chance, i may be able to feel the “christmas feeling.”