FYI

today i woke up with a really really high body temperature. i think i’ve been burning up since i slept around 3 am and you- images of you, the memories of your touch, the memories of your warm breath, the memories of your firm and solid muscles, the feeling of your skin, your panting, your moans, all possessed me and made love to me.

i am burning and craving for you, your passion.
fuhreals, man.

certain parts of my body felt like they’re about to explode. veins were filled with blood as my heart pumps more blood around my burning body at a faster rate. you’re the only one who can do this to me- this kind of making love without touch. you know for the record, you’re the only one who made me feel really passionate and hard during lovemaking.

i don’t think i will be able to make love with anyone again.
my body won’t respond properly. i don’t love them.

even if you say that it’s just plain carnal physical need with no emotional act, it still doesn’t work for me that way. at this point, i have learned that attraction for me does not only involve the physical. i get attracted to someone if their physical, spiritual, mental, social and psychological traits all excite me at the same time.
maybe that’s why they always tell me that i am picky. i really am picky. hell yeah i am picky.

no one (and i mean it with conviction harder than adamantine) no one has ever excited my physical, mental, spiritual and sexual being like you do.
no. ever. fucking. one.

it’s like this, imagine yourself as a comet or as a meteorite taking off the earth, rising high up above the atmosphere really fast. you burn, oh baby , you burn as you reach great heights of ecstasy, pleasure, excitement and most of all, passion. fuck. passion is what i will miss. oh god damn i will miss our shared passion. haha. you know how your adrenaline rushes way far beyond its full speed, taking you on loops, on spirals, pirouetting, somersaulting, and plunging deep down the ocean then up in the air, then above the mountain tops, then flying fast through the thick of the forest, then racing barefoot through the plains and the savannas, racing faster than the already high speed pumping of your heart, chasing tigers, swimming with otters, floating with the stars, getting high, really high, ecstatic, swimming, wallowing and bathing on the seemingly never ending sea of passion as we hold hands like them otters.

remember when we saw midnight in paris?

remember hemingway’s character’s quote?

(replace woman with *person*)

“ however, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. you two are the only ones in the entire universe. you conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before, you have conquered a great woman's heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another. death no longer lingers in the mind. fear no longer clouds your heart. only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. this is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage. but remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness you will feel immortal.”

you are my man of true greatness and that wouldn’t change.

i am not idolizing you or putting in a pedestal.
na-uh.
mmm-hmmm.

no, fuhreals, you may not know it, but you make love to me like no other person has ever did.
and that is what i will fucking miss a lot. a fucking lot (ok that sounds so ironic haha)

making love with you makes me forget fear. it's a trip to a different lane that make sme forget about the universe and the world around me even for only a limited time.

and i have no regrets in saying this and declaring this to you and to the world because i am proud of you, of my connection with you, of whatever we had, of whatever this is that i am experiencing because of you. you ignite me. you gave me sparks, created flames and you never ever fail to make me feel hot (in many levels of meanings.)

and just to let you know, one of the things that i have been intensely praying and wishing is this- to feel you inside me, and me inside you- in body, spirit and soul. i want to experience intimacy and connection again on a deeper and higher level.
oh well.

this is me again wishing on a dead star.

but shit.

you make me hard. real hard.

being with you is sexy.

and i mean it, you sexy beast.

****
i fucking love you so much. i really really do. :)