el niño

these lips are like the streets of the urban downtown- scarred, baked under the heat of the city, beaten by the footsteps of time, dried by its inability to moisten itself with fluid conversations.

these eyes are tired of looking at the same patterns, at the same routine, at the conventional, at the predictable sides of life. these eyes are dry. tear glands have long ceased to function and react to any emotion that could trigger the production of tears.

this skin, oh it flakes. the slightest contact from it causes scratches and lines. this skin is like the deteriorating white-washed walls of the old office warehouse- a piece of its crispy and dry portion falls off the floor on each second that ticks.

the oases can be found in my palms.

these palms are the only wet part of my body right now.

rivers of sweat run through the intersecting lines of fate embedded on it.

now i just need someone or anyone to hold my hand. who knows, that person or creature can bring back the moisture of my system.

fall

this week, the weather people officially declared the start of the fall season.

now, it is either things will fall apart or that things will fall into place.

rise of babel

vous savez, la solitude fournit l'aide immédiate à celui que ce soit que vous pensez, mais parfois il vaut mieux de le partager avec quelqu'un. vous savez, pour prendre juste un certain fardeau outre de vos épaules.
(you know, solitude provides immediate relief to whatever it is that you’re thinking, but sometimes it is better to share it with someone. you know, just to take some burden off your shoulders.)

the wind replied with a soft hush, blowing the dried leaves on the ground.

she sighed, still immobile from her seat, looking over the far end of the park.

est-ce que cela vous dérange si je prends un siège ?
(do you mind if i take a seat?)

only the dark brown strands of her hair moved from her. her lips were pursed like the nimbus clouds holding the afternoon downpour and her eyes were like the water of the nearby lake- still and deep.

i took her silence as a no, so i occupied the empty space beside her.

my mediocre french must have failed. she looks like one of those french women i see in the movies so i thought she must have been from france.

apenas permaneceré aquí y escucharé si usted quiere. apenas como lo que hago siempre cuando usted habla delante de los estudiantes en la universidad.
(i’ll just stay here and listen if you want. just like what i always do when you speak in front of the students in the university.)

broken spanish mode. shoot! maybe i mispronounced a word or two. or maybe my sentence did not make any sense to her at all.

i heard her speak in spanish weeks ago during the latin-american party at the other building. she was the darling of the spanish speaking crowd back then.
one more try.

usted puede fingir que soy el aire. usted don' t considera, pero usted puede decirme cualquier cosa.
(you can pretend that i am the air. you don't see, but you can tell me anything.)

nada. maybe she’s german, or australian or perhaps a filipina?

her mother can be a filipina and her father can be the offspring of the union of whatever nations from the planet. or it can be the other way around.

huwag ka nang malungkot. sasamahan na lang muna kita dito.
(don’t be sad. i ‘ll keep you company for a while.)

filipino failed. but i heard she is a polyglot, the one who can speak in different tongues. she is the famed transferee from another country- the brilliant one, the pretty one. hot in the eyes of most men and women in the university. how could she not understand me?

ok, action speaks louder than words. maybe she can at least respond to my actions. but i’ve been following her on her human rights campaigns, i’ve been bringing her water backstage during her plays, since her debut as evita peron, i was one of those guys who carried her to the clinic when she collapsed because of the heat, i would always deliver flowers to her- those that were given by her fratmen suitors, i applied as a student assistant at the library to watch her as she studies for her exams and to help her find her books, she took my handkerchief among the pool of hankies offered by the crowd when she cried during one of her speeches for the benefit of the old and disabled people, i offered my seat to her and her cheerleader friends on the canteen, i studied hard for her, i tried to learn the languages that they said she speaks, i tried hard so that when the moment, like this one, comes, i can finally speak to her and impress her and tell her how much i feel about her.

but i should have sensed my defeat when i started shooting her with my sentences possessed by the languages of the world.

ehem. (clears throat)

misery loves company. so i thought you would somehow love my company.
i guess i am wrong. i like you. i just want you to know that. i can leave anytime if you want.

sometimes, solitude can do wonders to the wandering mind.

the leaves replied in a soft hiss. this time, i took your silence as a yes.

i stood up from the metal bench hugged by rust and dust.
i almost tripped my foot from the nearby rock as i stood.

i sensed a movement from her. i wanted to look back but i walked away anyway.

not long after my feet have traveled a few meters away from the bench, i felt her hand grabbed my arm.

ce qui ? !
(what the?!)

her tear-coated eyes greeted me as i turned my head to her direction.
the wind sighed. the leaves were still.

please don’t leave.

finally, a word from her.

so, you heard everything that i’ve said?

her eyes now fixed with mine, quick to establish an electric connection, she said,

i saw you leaving. please don’t leave.

then we hugged. yes, in the fleeting moment, we felt our bodies close with each other.

i held myself close to her head, almost kissing her neck and her ears.

then i saw the misplaced hearing-aids on her ears, put it back and placed my head side by side with hers.

photoshare of the week: aloha milky way

constellations

stuck in a moment

i just flipped the last page of the book when the train stopped at mc arthur park. as usual, people flooded the doors and started to populate the vacant spaces of the underground train like they used to do every rush hour. in less than a minute, the doors closed and the automated voice informing the public of the next station dominated the air.

wilshire and vermont.

hollywood and vine.

hollywood highland.

universal city.

every two to three minutes, the automated voice announced the next destination, opened and closed the doors like its routine. the catch is, the train never moved. for over 20 minutes, the train was like that- announcing the destination, closing and opening doors but never moved a single wheel forward. i wanted to believe that it was some prank and that ashton kutcher and his team would show up and scream "you all got punked! ha! ha!" but not even the shadow of mr kutcher appeared on the background. it was surreal. for 20 minutes most of the passengers doesn't seem to notice the false impression of travel and movement made by the automated voice announcer. it was as if they were all under the spell of believing that they were actually moving forward when in fact they were just stuck in one place for minutes. maybe their enthusiastic conversations with their companions or maybe their deep slumber made them oblivious to illusion of movement in the train. or maybe, i was just too self conscious and self absorbed that's why i got stucked in that moment after i closed the book that i read.

return ticket

we met at the passenger seat on the same flight going to neverland. that was when i learned about the story of a noble woman being infused with an hiv infected blood during an operation in their country’s public hospital. it was like experiencing hardcore angina pectoris, depriving you of all the comforts of the business class flight and suddenly diffusing every single ounce of happiness kept in your system.

it was an unforgivable act. on that moment, i felt the urge to launch myself out from the plane and transmute myself into a human superbomb and land on that certain public hospital. i was in rage because on that moment when i learned about the news, my mother flashed into my mind; chained in the hospital bed, knocked down by science, and involuntary taking the blood infected with aids.

i told my seatmate to remain calm, hold back his tears and don’t worry. i’ve already made up my mind. as long as we landed on our destination, i will make an immediate trip back to the home country, and see the hospital myself. i wanted my companion to enjoy the trip to neverland.

fate

first my mp3 player earbuds died on me then a few hours ago, i got a huge black bra instead of the antonia’s line dvd that i ordered from a well known bookstore here in the western hemisphere of the earth. what the hell is wrong with this uber fucked up day? the ups guy even laughed at me when he learned about the misfortune of my package.