epitoma

getting a plane ticket to japan and then flying to bangkok the next day, jumping to cambodia, then touring the middle east for a week, then going to europe for a cruise, then finally arriving to the soil of mexico to drive your way to tijuana, then staying in a local hotel meters away from the us border to chat with your friend from the border patrol then throwing away your clothes to prepare your leap to the towering fence that separates the land of mexico and america, and then running and jumping with all your strength after you saw the third flicker of the headlights of your friend’s pick-up truck, and then falling on your first climb but pursuing your run as your adrenaline pushes you up before the border police could catch a glimpse of your flesh, then jumping with all your might in an inviting hole that you see in the fence, then falling straight at the back of the truck, bumping your head a little, seeing almost nothing but hearing the war among the tires, the rocks, and the road for fifteen minutes, then finding yourself inside your friend’s garage, giving him 300 bucks for saving your ass, running away from the house as fast as you can, hiring a cab to san diego, then boarding a bus to pennsylvania, finding your way across the street, assuming various identities of the philippine showbiz industry, meeting your brother, staying at his condo unit for a while, then flying to new york, then witnessing a crime, then testifing at court, receiving hundreds of death threats, winning the case, receiving state recognition, award and prize money, being granted with amnesty, getting your green card, receiving service offers from the police force, the military and the government, then being the boss of your bosses in the philippines, then having a weekly travel from the east coast to west coast by driving without any license at all, then finally settling to the south western coast of the land

or

sliding your way down a steep mountain as a an amateur snow boarder, evading trees, skaters, boarders and electric posts, and finding your best balance, then in a split-second a kid comes right in your way, then both of you roll down the ice and you find yourself lying on the snow, trying to feel the biting flakes on your face

or

throwing yourself in a sea of mad like-a-virgins whose egos are bruised by the sharp edges of your tongue

or

biting an apple that could either poison you or bring you to the renaissance of your life.

that is the year in summary.

post christmas wish

may the person from the philippine primetime television reality based program call again to cast me in their show; only this time, to cast me in any show/program/contest in this part of the planet where kids get pregnant in their 15s, and britney is the new icon of the youth.

ad astra per aspera

i think the biting cold of this year’s christmas would be the only thing that could probably give me a hug. as an overseas worker i have to bear in mind the opportunity cost of earning better money for your family- sacrificing your comfort zones, not seeing your family and your friends, denying yourself of the simple pleasures of life, and toning down your ego.

although sacrificing one christmas for the anticipation of a better christmas in the future could comfort your thoughts for a while, a stream of thought can strike anytime that tells you how it may not be worth the risk. you can never tell when will be the last christmas that you can spend together with your family.
i guess the competition between our priorities and our needs will never cease until we get contented and settled.

for now, i just have to bear with the fact that i have to do work during the holidays to earn money for my future. at least now i can say that i don’t owe my savings from any material girl or from anybody.

merry christmas to me.

to neko and to all other stars in the universe

always bear in mind that we were all born to shine.
worry not about the world.
it usually takes light years before it could see and appreciate your faintest glow.

your light has touched the vast regions of space as it travels the universe.
trust me. even distant galaxies from earth have seen you shine.
keep the fire of your passion burning inside your core.

may you shine the brightest among the stars that competes for the attention of the judging world.

contest

in this game of life, there will always be a certain point
where everyone thinks they deserve to win.

SAbuBOG

ni hindi ko man lang namalayan ang mahigit dalawampung taon kong paninirahan sa mga makukulay na bubog . kung hindi pa’ko inilipad isang gabi ng tadhana, hindi ko makikita ang mga makukulay na bubog na bumubuo sa bansang kinalakihan ko.

malinaw pa sa’kin kung pa’no nagpatalbugan ng kinang ang mga bubog sa lupa para akitin ang mga matang nakadungaw mula sa kalangitan. mga matang kundi namangha, ay nalito nang saglit sa dami ng mga kumikislap na mga bagay sa ibaba. maraming mukhang diyamante pero sigurado akong karamihan doon ay bubog. maraming beses na din akong nagalusan, natisod at nasugat ng mga tila makikinang na diyamante sa lupa ng bayan ko.

gabi nang ihulog ako ng tadhana sa panibagong lupain. mula sa maliliit na mata ng eroplano ay natanaw ko ang mga makikinang na diyamanteng nakahilera sa lupa. nakaporma, mas makikinang at mukhang mas mamahalin. kapos man sa kulay ay sagana naman ito sa nakasisilaw na kinang. mukhang mga diyamanteng nakahimlay sa mga estante sa malls, na naghihintay sa taong aangkin sa taglay nitong kinang.

muli akong nag-aral maglakad sa bubog. pakiramdam ko, muli akong naging sanggol na nangangapa sa nakabubulag na kinang na dulot nga mga mala-diyamanteng bubog na nilalakaran ko. sabin ng mga matatandang nakausap ko na dito, nandito daw ang tunay na yaman. marahil natagpuan na nila ang diyamante. marahil hindi din. baka nakasuot lang sila ng mga piraso ng mapanlinlang na bubog na nagkalat sa lupaing ito.
hindi ko maisip kung dinala ba ako ng tadhana dito para hanapin ang diyamante. tama lang na nagsimula akong maglakad sa gabi. tiyak ko, mas madali kong mahahanap ang tunay na diyamante sa kadiliman.

world's aid day

hanggang ngayon, wala pa ding malinaw na lunas sa sakit
na kumikitil ng milyon-milyong katao taon taon sa mundo.
wala pa ding gamot sa sakit ng lipunan na
dulot ng panggagahasa ng iba't-ibang lahi sa sarili mong bayan.
hangga't di natitigil ang tahasan at di ligtas na pakikipagtalik
sa iba't ibang lahi sa mundo ay patuloy na lalaganap ang sakit ng
lipunang ito na mas malala pa sa kanser nito noon.