abby asked me if i have sent tita liwayway to tears. her pillows were soaked, and her hair is all over her face.
no. i am not responsible for the outbreak of her tear glands. the petty argument we had earlier must have triggered a nerve.
andrei, my three year old cousin, ruined the box case of my recently-bought studio ghibli dvd set. as an initial impulse, i salvaged the box from his tiny hands and took it to my room where my tita liwayway ironed our clothes.
tita liwayway is a domesticated aunt who partly raised my two cousins and partly acts a household helper to my other aunt.
somewehere in the middle of my rants, the word peste (pest) came out.
tita liwayway gave me a judgmental look that pushed me to purse my lips.
“ang sakit mo naman magsalita.”
i did not refer to anyone. i made it clear to her. it was not andrei or her sister. it was just an expression, a mere term that is a result of random emotional release.
i found it foolish to have tried explaining to her the basics of semiotics. she would counter my statements with “wala, masama yung ginawa mo.” “bata lang yun, nakakasakit ka na,” “peste…masama yun” and never listen to me.
eavesdropping outside the door were the little tyrants, making innocent faces with teary- eyed hate-me-not-please expression. i gave up the discussion to rest my case and to fix the ruined box.
minutes after, i was shocked after my relatives asked me if i did something nasty to my cousins. they found them teary eyed as they sat on one corner of the bedroom.
i told the people around that i did not do anything to them, but their deceiving natural innocence was far more powerful than my rhetoric skills.
my cousins won.
the spotlight was on me.
abby thought i made tita liwayway cry. tita liwayway thought of another reason for me to be rejected in the gates of heaven. my cousins slept with smiles (more of a grin) pasted on their seemingly innocent faces.
___________________________
tyrant- an oppressive, harsh, arbitrary person
(source:http://www.answers.com/topic/tyrant)
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12/30/2006
12/28/2006
monthly burger discussions of an activity center standby
27.12.06
the erratic mixture of chatter, screams and footsteps became a lullaby that slowly tempted him to fall asleep. from his seat, he jumped from floor to floor using only his eyes to keep him from what he thought as the spell of slumber.
01:30:15
the smile pasted over x.tian.x.mas tarp slowly curled into a frown as bystanders and passers by ignored it amidst its size. the manang of the fonekard station flirted with the manong of the nearby palamig booth.
02:15:13
pseudo rock stars, pop star wannabes, acting models, socialites, priests, sluts, emos, loners, couples and some of the upper 10% of the society marched with each other, wearing blank faces, to the beats of boom tarat. havaiiannas and havannas creates another melody that fits in the march.
03:15:18
a curry-powder-smelling-person gave up on the spell of slumber and dropped a paper roll from his right hand. a utility person swept the paper, which appeared to be an important document, to the dust pan. his girlfriend arrived from heavy traffic jam.
04:29:11
it takes time to get into an unfamiliar destination-one of his realizations as he and his girl traced ayala's labyrinth streets. the peanut brittle from baguio was perfect to satiate any hungry stomach. the funny thing about the enteng kabisote 3 movie was that the boom and lapel microphones were visible in most of the scenes.
06:15:12
someone who claimed to be an existentialist meets another person who also claimed to be an existentialist and puts the emotionally-attached person out of place. wendy’s biggie was not enough to quench the thirst of a pork star, a porn star and a child star.
08:49:15
realizations for the day: happiness is just a social construct. i am not happy, i am self gratified. education nowadays is not a right of every individual. it is a privilege for the few who can pay for it. equality can never happen in this world and that could make a person sad. and that sadness is also an emotion defined by varying factors such as ideologies and psychological and sociological make-up of that individual in connection to his or her society.
11:14:25
the erratic mixture of chatter, screams and footsteps became a lullaby that slowly tempted him to fall asleep. from his seat, he jumped from floor to floor using only his eyes to keep him from what he thought as the spell of slumber.
01:30:15
the smile pasted over x.tian.x.mas tarp slowly curled into a frown as bystanders and passers by ignored it amidst its size. the manang of the fonekard station flirted with the manong of the nearby palamig booth.
02:15:13
pseudo rock stars, pop star wannabes, acting models, socialites, priests, sluts, emos, loners, couples and some of the upper 10% of the society marched with each other, wearing blank faces, to the beats of boom tarat. havaiiannas and havannas creates another melody that fits in the march.
03:15:18
a curry-powder-smelling-person gave up on the spell of slumber and dropped a paper roll from his right hand. a utility person swept the paper, which appeared to be an important document, to the dust pan. his girlfriend arrived from heavy traffic jam.
04:29:11
it takes time to get into an unfamiliar destination-one of his realizations as he and his girl traced ayala's labyrinth streets. the peanut brittle from baguio was perfect to satiate any hungry stomach. the funny thing about the enteng kabisote 3 movie was that the boom and lapel microphones were visible in most of the scenes.
06:15:12
someone who claimed to be an existentialist meets another person who also claimed to be an existentialist and puts the emotionally-attached person out of place. wendy’s biggie was not enough to quench the thirst of a pork star, a porn star and a child star.
08:49:15
realizations for the day: happiness is just a social construct. i am not happy, i am self gratified. education nowadays is not a right of every individual. it is a privilege for the few who can pay for it. equality can never happen in this world and that could make a person sad. and that sadness is also an emotion defined by varying factors such as ideologies and psychological and sociological make-up of that individual in connection to his or her society.
11:14:25
12/27/2006
gaga over ghibli
it was vacation years ago when i found myself caught in deep argument with my family regarding the social relevance of anime. most of my family members think that anime is just moving colored sketches of crap that was made to entertain children; little did they realize that anime has shaped and influenced the psyche as well as the social constructs of the society of its viewers since its emergence.
i am watching samurai x (rurouni kenshin: romance of a meiji swordsman) then when my grandmother, together with my aunts, judged my maturity by saying that cartoons were only for kids.
as a reaction, i argued to them the whole afternoon explaining the social and humanitarian benefits of anime but they never considered my explanations. all that mattered to them that time was for me to quit watching anime and to shift to the news channel, if not, to the telenovelas that they watch.
since childhood, i’ve always seen the potential of animated series and movies as an influential means of shaping one’s personality and society.
my early favorites were saber riders , voltron, voltes v and daimos. since then, series like the dog of flanders, julio at julia, cedi, princess sarah and others has contributed to my collective ideology and views about life.
lately, i got hold of a studio ghibli collection dvd set for only 700php at quiapo.
the set contains 19 dvds of the earliest studio ghibli collections to the latest.
some titles included are:
nausicaä of the valley of wind
laputa: the castle in the sky
my neighbor totoro
kiki's delivery service
porco rosso
panda! go panda!
princess mononoke
grave of the fireflies
spirited away
howl's moving castle
my neighbors the yamadas
the cat returns
whisper of the heart
ocean waves
only yesterday
so far i have only seen mononoke and howl’s moving castle.
howl's moving castle
howl's moving castle movie premiere
princess monnoke
spirited away
grave of the fireflies
kiki's delivery service
laputa, castle in the sky
studio ghibli
so far, i found the ghibli movies very moving and entertaining.
japan has tapped one area of the arts that helped them regain andstrengthen their dignity, history and nationality as a people; i hope the filipinos also do.
i am watching samurai x (rurouni kenshin: romance of a meiji swordsman) then when my grandmother, together with my aunts, judged my maturity by saying that cartoons were only for kids.
as a reaction, i argued to them the whole afternoon explaining the social and humanitarian benefits of anime but they never considered my explanations. all that mattered to them that time was for me to quit watching anime and to shift to the news channel, if not, to the telenovelas that they watch.
since childhood, i’ve always seen the potential of animated series and movies as an influential means of shaping one’s personality and society.
my early favorites were saber riders , voltron, voltes v and daimos. since then, series like the dog of flanders, julio at julia, cedi, princess sarah and others has contributed to my collective ideology and views about life.
lately, i got hold of a studio ghibli collection dvd set for only 700php at quiapo.
the set contains 19 dvds of the earliest studio ghibli collections to the latest.
some titles included are:
nausicaä of the valley of wind
laputa: the castle in the sky
my neighbor totoro
kiki's delivery service
porco rosso
panda! go panda!
princess mononoke
grave of the fireflies
spirited away
howl's moving castle
my neighbors the yamadas
the cat returns
whisper of the heart
ocean waves
only yesterday
so far i have only seen mononoke and howl’s moving castle.
howl's moving castle
howl's moving castle movie premiere
princess monnoke
spirited away
grave of the fireflies
kiki's delivery service
laputa, castle in the sky
studio ghibli
so far, i found the ghibli movies very moving and entertaining.
japan has tapped one area of the arts that helped them regain andstrengthen their dignity, history and nationality as a people; i hope the filipinos also do.
12/25/2006
christmas time
haven’t received any appreciation (in any form and degree) this christmas?
better grab a copy of time magazine this month.
an international appreciation for all of us people who shape the emerging age of digital communication is a great gift. at least, our efforts as catalysts of change were appreciated and were recognized by the global community.
_____________
the first few hours of my 2006 christmas were spent online with kevin, heneroso, jhed and rob, where we chat about blogs and other people's blogs and how those blogs were connected to each other, and how the lives and writing styles and template styles of those bloggers affect the whole blogoshpere.
after our conversations, i realized that those four bloggers could be the future main cast of the buzz blog.
thank you guys for giving me quite a laugh.
____________
happy birthday nene!
____________
and just to rub in me and to others that christmas is more than just a social construct,
merry christmas to you all!
better grab a copy of time magazine this month.
click on the image for the TIME magazine article
an international appreciation for all of us people who shape the emerging age of digital communication is a great gift. at least, our efforts as catalysts of change were appreciated and were recognized by the global community.
_____________
the first few hours of my 2006 christmas were spent online with kevin, heneroso, jhed and rob, where we chat about blogs and other people's blogs and how those blogs were connected to each other, and how the lives and writing styles and template styles of those bloggers affect the whole blogoshpere.
after our conversations, i realized that those four bloggers could be the future main cast of the buzz blog.
thank you guys for giving me quite a laugh.
____________
happy birthday nene!
____________
and just to rub in me and to others that christmas is more than just a social construct,
merry christmas to you all!
12/24/2006
looking for the christmas feeling
it is only a few hours before christmas and the christmas lights attached to our window grills has never showed any flicker of hope that it will share even a faint light.
this will be the fourth consecutive year where my family and i will spend christmas in the house free of decorations and other christmas-related materials. i bet this christmas will be the same; it will just be the same old furniture set and just a few more people vying for gifts and food, but aside from that, nothing more.
lately, i’ve been missing the “christmas feeling” that i used to feel when i was younger.
the air of christmas back when i was a kid seemed to be lost somewhere.
colorful lights that usually add up joy and liven up the christmas spirit were less visible. sincerity slowly crawled away from children singing carols.
i recalled about ten years ago how my friends and i would create improvised instruments from used milk cans and flattened soda bottle caps. caroling back then was more of a form of a get-together activity; the gifts and money we received were just bonuses.
sadly, most children today would go in solitaire and sing a few lines of a carol then beg for money.
i have heard many people’s claim about not feeling the christmas spirit lately. maybe the economy and the society in general have something to do with it. economic instability, stress, personal issues, material insatiability and alike somehow blocked the christmas air from being felt by the majority.
over coffee, i asked a friend about the whereabouts of the lost “christmas feeling” that we had when we were young. i told her my observations about the evolution of the society, and the speed of its change which in turn could have affected the loss of the “christmas feeling.”
“the christmas feeling was never gone. it’s just that we were growing old.”
really? i took another look at the streets. still, there were plenty of lights, a few children still march on the road to sing their carols, and glittery christmas decors were still hung in most places.
she could be right. the “christmas feeling” was never lost. i just grew older.
old people tend to be less perceptive of the simplicity of the “christmas feeling” because of too much preoccupation with the world.
over the past four years, i have allowed the world to take from me the “christmas feeling” that happened to be one of the reasons that made the day extraordinary than the rest. i was so busy dealing with the world that i was not able to check the wires and the bulbs of the christmas lights attached on our window grills.
the wires were torn, and the bulbs were broken.
i still have a few hours to replace the bulbs and fix the wires. a faint hope that the bulbs can still light this christmas, and that somehow, by any chance, i may be able to feel the “christmas feeling.”
this will be the fourth consecutive year where my family and i will spend christmas in the house free of decorations and other christmas-related materials. i bet this christmas will be the same; it will just be the same old furniture set and just a few more people vying for gifts and food, but aside from that, nothing more.
lately, i’ve been missing the “christmas feeling” that i used to feel when i was younger.
the air of christmas back when i was a kid seemed to be lost somewhere.
colorful lights that usually add up joy and liven up the christmas spirit were less visible. sincerity slowly crawled away from children singing carols.
i recalled about ten years ago how my friends and i would create improvised instruments from used milk cans and flattened soda bottle caps. caroling back then was more of a form of a get-together activity; the gifts and money we received were just bonuses.
sadly, most children today would go in solitaire and sing a few lines of a carol then beg for money.
i have heard many people’s claim about not feeling the christmas spirit lately. maybe the economy and the society in general have something to do with it. economic instability, stress, personal issues, material insatiability and alike somehow blocked the christmas air from being felt by the majority.
over coffee, i asked a friend about the whereabouts of the lost “christmas feeling” that we had when we were young. i told her my observations about the evolution of the society, and the speed of its change which in turn could have affected the loss of the “christmas feeling.”
“the christmas feeling was never gone. it’s just that we were growing old.”
really? i took another look at the streets. still, there were plenty of lights, a few children still march on the road to sing their carols, and glittery christmas decors were still hung in most places.
she could be right. the “christmas feeling” was never lost. i just grew older.
old people tend to be less perceptive of the simplicity of the “christmas feeling” because of too much preoccupation with the world.
over the past four years, i have allowed the world to take from me the “christmas feeling” that happened to be one of the reasons that made the day extraordinary than the rest. i was so busy dealing with the world that i was not able to check the wires and the bulbs of the christmas lights attached on our window grills.
the wires were torn, and the bulbs were broken.
i still have a few hours to replace the bulbs and fix the wires. a faint hope that the bulbs can still light this christmas, and that somehow, by any chance, i may be able to feel the “christmas feeling.”
12/17/2006
understanding the heroes' league
earlier, a friend and i discussed about the unfortunate fate of heroes, superheroes and their league, people who act as if they were heroes in their own context (these are the people who do lots and lots of seemingly incredible tasks and responsibilities), when it comes to their love life.
most of those people never had the usual societal perceived and accepted love life because they were chained by their tons of other responsibilities and commitments.
no matter how most people try to act deviant by bluntly saying that they are not conforming to the norms of an ideal relationship perceived and accepted in the society (which involves the usual ligawan stage, panunuyo, pa-sweet etc.), somewhere deep inside them, they longed for those relationships they see on movies and read on books.
my friend told me that the easiest way to resolve the issue is by making a choice.
it’s not that the heroes and other people in league with this love-relationship dilemma does not have a choice, it’s just that they cannot easily give up their responsibilities.
“if you love someone, you can easily forget the world for him or her ,” a friend remarked.
i disagreed. it may sound good. but it’s not practical. it’s too idealistic.
allow me to speak for the heroes and their league
it is way different if you are involved in a situation and you knew that you can do something and you have done nothing for it. heroes, together with their league of people carrying great responsibilities, cannot easily give up and compromise their tasks and responsibilities for their personal gain. it will be better for them to sacrifice one aspect of their lives in return for the greater good of the majority.
notice the great heroes and people of fact and fiction; they never had a normal relationship as defined by the society. now you know what superman, spiderman, jose rizal, darna, captain barbell and the likes had in common.
with great power come great responsibilities.
with great responsibilities come great opportunity costs.
with great opportunity costs come great decision making.
with great decision making come great things compromised.
most of those people never had the usual societal perceived and accepted love life because they were chained by their tons of other responsibilities and commitments.
no matter how most people try to act deviant by bluntly saying that they are not conforming to the norms of an ideal relationship perceived and accepted in the society (which involves the usual ligawan stage, panunuyo, pa-sweet etc.), somewhere deep inside them, they longed for those relationships they see on movies and read on books.
my friend told me that the easiest way to resolve the issue is by making a choice.
it’s not that the heroes and other people in league with this love-relationship dilemma does not have a choice, it’s just that they cannot easily give up their responsibilities.
“if you love someone, you can easily forget the world for him or her ,” a friend remarked.
i disagreed. it may sound good. but it’s not practical. it’s too idealistic.
allow me to speak for the heroes and their league
it is way different if you are involved in a situation and you knew that you can do something and you have done nothing for it. heroes, together with their league of people carrying great responsibilities, cannot easily give up and compromise their tasks and responsibilities for their personal gain. it will be better for them to sacrifice one aspect of their lives in return for the greater good of the majority.
notice the great heroes and people of fact and fiction; they never had a normal relationship as defined by the society. now you know what superman, spiderman, jose rizal, darna, captain barbell and the likes had in common.
with great power come great responsibilities.
with great responsibilities come great opportunity costs.
with great opportunity costs come great decision making.
with great decision making come great things compromised.
12/12/2006
blind date
Tauhan:
Naj: dating modelo, nasa edad 30s, kagagaling lang sa aksidente, putol ang kaliwang hita, sunog ang katawan at mukha, naka-suot ng spaghetti na damit at maikling palda na nagpapakita ng hita. Naka-saklay
Richard: photographer, mid-20s, naka-suot photographer. (naka-vest, jeans)
Setting:
Hapon, mga 4pm, sa hotel room ni Naj. May makikitang stool sa kaliwang bahagi ng stage. Tripod sa kanang bahagi, opposite ng stool. May makikita ding sofa sa kanan, malapit sa stool. Sa itaas ng sofa, may nakasabit na malaking larawan/painting ng tao na may takip na strip ang mga mata. Sa ibabaw ng sofa may salamin (hand mirror).
Pagbukas ng Ilaw:
Makikitang naka blindfold si Richard. Inaalalayan siya ni Naj kahit na nakasaklay lang ito. Makikitang iiwan ni Naj si Richard sa tapat ng tripod. Maglalakad si Naj papuntang sofa at may kukuhaning papel.
Richard: Naj, kasama ba talaga ‘to?
Naj: Just be patient. (babasahin ang papel na hawak)
This certifies that Mr. Richard Geronimo got the exclusive contract of taking the picture of Najeline Modeling Agency’s latest model. Yada, yada, yada. This contract binds the photographer and the agency of an agreement that the model will be placed in the centerfold of the next issue of Elan magazine. Signed, Mr Richard Geronimo, the official photographer, and Ms. Najeline Pascual, Head, Najeline Modeling Agency.
Ricahard: (mapapangiti.) Alam ko na yan. We’ve been through this a couple of times already. Alam mo namang ayoko nang nabibitin. Matagl na rin akong hindi nakakakuha ng pictures.
Naj: I promise, hindi ka mabibitin sa makukuha mo. And besides, do you think I will risk that high amount of money for nothing?
(Lalapit kay Richard, sa may tenga magsasalita,)
(hihinto sandali) I have the eye for outstanding subjects.
Richard: (akmang tatanggalin ang blindfold)
Then let my eyes see the priced subject! Aba! Nakakapagod pumunta dito sa hotel room mo! Kung bakit ba naman kasi biglaan ang pagdating ng project na ito?
Naj: (Pipigilan si Richard)
Richard, Remember the virtue of patience. (Mag-aayos ng sarili si Naj. Magpo-pose, lalakad papuntang stool) Tatanggalin mo lang yan when I tell you to do so. (Magpo-pose muli) (Hihinto)
Richard, remember the shots we used to do way back before the accident?
Richard: Which shots? Ah! (excited ang tono) Yung mga sunod-sunod na napapasama sa centerfold! Oo naman, that paved way for the peak of my carreer! Salamat sa ganda mo. (hinto) I mean, you are one interesting subject na nagustuhan hindi lang ng camera, kundi pati ng mga tao.
Naj: (mahinhing matatawa) Haha. Really? I’m sure hindi ka na maninibago sa subject mo ngayon. (Mag-aayos ng sarili) Ok, you may now remove the blindfold.
Richard: (mapapakamot sa ulo, mapapangiti. magtataka) So, what’s up? Asa’n ang bagong model? Where’s the priced subject ? (lilingon-lingon. tititig kay Naj)
Naj: (Nakangiti, naka-pose) (patlang) Where are you looking at?
Richard: Don’t tell me… (kunwari kakapain ang mga mata) I thought I’ve already removed my blindfold?
Naj: Astig ka ha! You never forgot to bring humor with you.
Richard: Ikaw talaga, puro ka surprises. (mapapangiti)
Naj: Para namang hindi mo ako kilala. Bestfriend ko na ang camera since birth.
Richard: You don’t really mean that you will be my subject, do you?
Naj: Am I not interesting enough? (magpo-project)
Richard: (mapapailing) I mean, Naj, Please don’t play around.
Naj: You signed the contract!
Richard: But I never thought…
Naj: You never thought of me as a potential subject?
Richard: No. I never thought that you would want to objectify yourself.
Naj: Pardon? I am a subject in front of you.
Richard: Objects ang hanap ng centerfold.
Naj: Subjective object, an object of art.
Richard: Kailanman hindi naging objective ang art.
Naj: Are pictures not art?
Richard: Not all pictures are art.
Naj: Hindi ba sabi mo sa’kin dati I’m a work of art? (ii-spread ang mga braso na parang si oble)
Richard: You were a subject of art then.
Naj: Please, Richard, I’m tired of those excuses.
Richard: Art was never intended to objectify.
Naj: Didn’t you objectify me once? (ituturo ang magazine sa sofa.)
Richard: (mapapatingin sa magazine) It was not for art’s sake.
Naj: Akala ko noon ifframe mo na ako ng tuluyan.
Pero bigla kang nawala. Para kang flash ng camera kung dumating sa
buhay ko. Patay sindi. Darating ka lang kung kailan mo gusto.
Richard: Maraming mga bagay na nangyayari ang hindi sinasadya.
Maraming opportunities ang dumating.
Naj: Sa tingin mo ginusto ko ‘to? (ipapamukha ang kapansanan)
Richard: Hindi lahat ng pictures nailalagay sa frame.
Naj: I thought I was already frame-worthy!
Richard: Hindi lahat ng pictures pwedeng ilagay sa centerfold.
Naj: In this case, pwede na. We had a deal. A contract.
Richard: A blind agreement! Malabo ang gusto mong mangyari.
Naj: (kukunin ang celphone sa bulsa, tatawagan ang boss ni Richard) Hello, this is Ms. Naj Pascual, Mr. Chua, it appears to me that your prime photographer is backing out on the job.
Richard: (tatakbo papunta sa stool, kay Naj, aagawin ang telepono) Wait!
Naj: (patuloy sa pagsasalita) So, will I just be hiring another company’s photographer for the shoot?
(maagaw ni Richard ang telepono, papatayin ito)
Richard: Please don’t do this. Mahirap kalabanin ang nagpapakain sa’yo. Pasensiya. Stand by ka lang. (pupunta si Richard sa tripod. Aayusin ang camera. Kukunan na ng litrato si Naj)
Naj: (magpo-pose) I’m ready.
Richard: Teka. Hindi ka na kumokonekta sa mga lente.
Naj: Kailan pa naging pihikan ang mga lente?
Basics lang yan. You can change the camera’s setting, adjust the light meter, the aperture, ISO at focus- ikaw na rin ang nagsabi sa'kin nun.
Richard: Ang audience ang pihikan. (aayusin na ang camera)
Yung mga naghahanap ng objects, objects of their desires.
Naj: They loved me once, I’m pretty sure they will still accept me now.
Richard: Minahal lang nila ang object na ikaw.
Naj: Mamahalin nila kahit subjective na ako.
Richard: You adjust to their preference.
Naj: But you also adjust for your needs. (mapapangiti)
Richard: (mapipilitan) O sige, strike a pose. (hindi gagalaw si Naj) Lean 35 degrees to the right. Konting adjust pa. (mapapailing si Richard)
Naj: Wala akong dapat ayusin.
Richard: Tumingin ka kaya muna sa salamin. (ibibigay ni Richard ang salamin na nasa sofa kay Naj)
Naj: Hindi ko kailangan ng salamin. (ihahagis ang salamin pagkabigay ni Richard, mababasag ang salamin)
Naj: Sabi mo nga, I know myself better.
Richard: Akala ko ba gusto mo ng pang-centerfold.
Naj: I trust you, you know my angles.
Richard: Please, I'm just asking you to do your part.
Naj: There’s nothing left to do.
Richard: (iaayos ang camera. sisipatin si Naj sa lens, aayusin ang focus etc)
(hindi gagalaw sa pose si Naj)
Naj: (taas noong magpo-pose) Ganito ang gusto ko.
Richard: O sige, just turn your face a little to the right. Medyo taas pa ng noo.
(Hindi pa rin gagalaw si Naj) (mukhang naiirita na si Richard, magpupunas ng pawis sa noo)
Naj: (hindi pa rin gagalaw)
Modelo ako.
Richard: Photographer ako. Hawak ko ang camera.
Naj: Ako ang subject. Ikaw na lang ang hinihintay ko.
Richard: (buntong hininga. titingin sa camera.) Ready. 1, 2, 3!
(magfflash ang camera) (pagkatapos mag-flash, tatayo si Naj mula sa stool papunta kay Richard)
Richard: Wait, How about another shot? Naj!
(makikitang pipiliting maglakad ni Naj papunta sa tripod, malapit kay Richard, tapos kukunin ang camera mula sa tripod)
Naj: Bakit out of focus?
Richard: Sorry. I did what I can. Ikaw na mismo ang nagtanggal sa sarili mo sa focus. Medyo gumalaw ka kanina sa stool habang naka-pose ka.
Naj: Sometimes, the problem is not with the camera, it's with your focus. (patlang)
Richard: Madalas, kahit anong focus ang gawin mo, may mga subjects talaga na hindi nagfifit sa frame ng camera.
Naj: Depende sa mga mata ng kumukuha ang kalalabasan ng subject. (titingin sa mga mata ni Richard)
Richard: Naj, hindi na makakatayo ang tripod na naputulan ng isang leg.
Mahirap nang ipilit sa mga frames ng litrato ang nakaraan. (patlang)
Tatanggapin ko na ang pagkasibak ko sa trabaho. Wala na’kog magagawa sa mga kuha na gusto mo.
Naj: (patlang) (tititig kay Richard, ihahawak sa balikat ang isang braso)
Can’t you see? I’ve set this up para mabigyan kang muli ng break. Para magbalik yung dati. Remember? Nung ikaw yung photographer ko, then ako yung subject mo? Nung lagi ako sa centerfold? Gusto kong ibalik ang dati. (magmamakaawa kay Richard)
Richard: Hindi ka naman picture. Sabi mo nga modelo ka. Pwede kang gumalaw.
Naj: Nabubuhay ako sa mga litrato. Alam mo yun.
Richard: Hindi isang litrato ang buhay.
Naj: Sino nang kukuha ng mga pictures ko?
Richard: Maraming photographers.
Naj: But you know my best angles.
Richard: You know yourself better, Naj.(ilalayo ang kamay ni Naj sa sarili. Akmang iaayos ang mga gamit)
Naj: Richard, please. Sige, papayag na’ko. Another shot. (patlang) Please. Please don’t leave now.
Richard: I can’t take it. I don’t want them to see you in the centerfold like that! (pasigaw)
Naj: Bakit? Dahil ba sa itsura ko? What’s with the fear? I paid the publication ten times the prize just to be in the centerfold!
Richard: They have no idea of the centerfold object! (tatalikod kay Naj)
Naj: Centerfold subject!
Richard: (haharap kay Naj)
Of all people, you should be the one who better understands the situation.
Pag nakita nila yung mga pictures mo, maaring i-turn down nila ang contract! Masasaktan ka lang!
Naj: I can still double the payment, or even triple it, if that’s what they want. Basta ang gusto ko lang, magkaroon ng magandang subject ang centerfold.
Richard: Naj, hindi ka na maganda! (patlang) Tignan mo nga ang sarili mo! (tatahimik ang dalawa)
Naj: (makikitang nagulat sa sinabi ni Richard) Akala ko ba subjective ang art na sinasabi mo? Akala ko ba isa akong subject? Akala ko ba minahal mo ako?
Richard:(hahampasin ni naj ng saklay sa may batok si Richard. Mawawalan ito ng malay. Pupulutin ni Naj ang mga nakakalat na piraso ng bubog ng nabasag na salamin. Iutusok niya ito sa mga mata ni Richard)
Naj: Walang saysay ang mga matang hindi marunong makakita ng kagandahan. At mas lalong walang saysay ang mga mata ng photographer na hindi marunong tumingin ng subject.
Ang tao nakakalakad kahit walang paa, ang tripod hindi.
Para sa lens camera, kahit magka-lamat man ito,
lahat ng nakikita niya, subject.
Di tulad ng mga mata mo, parehong malinaw, but were easily blinded by the flashes of fame and fortune.
Naj: Sorry Richard, pero wala ring pinagkaiba kung naka-blindfold ka o hindi.
(ilalagay ang blindfold sa mga mata ni Richard, iuupo si Richard sa sofa at ihaharap sa may stool kung saan siya uupo)
Manood ka.
Makikitang aayusin ni Naj ang camera sa tripod. Iseset-up tapos lalakad siyang muli papunta sa stool tapos magpo-pose.
Mag fflash ang camera.
Patay ang Ilaw
____________
copyrighted script
Naj: dating modelo, nasa edad 30s, kagagaling lang sa aksidente, putol ang kaliwang hita, sunog ang katawan at mukha, naka-suot ng spaghetti na damit at maikling palda na nagpapakita ng hita. Naka-saklay
Richard: photographer, mid-20s, naka-suot photographer. (naka-vest, jeans)
Setting:
Hapon, mga 4pm, sa hotel room ni Naj. May makikitang stool sa kaliwang bahagi ng stage. Tripod sa kanang bahagi, opposite ng stool. May makikita ding sofa sa kanan, malapit sa stool. Sa itaas ng sofa, may nakasabit na malaking larawan/painting ng tao na may takip na strip ang mga mata. Sa ibabaw ng sofa may salamin (hand mirror).
Pagbukas ng Ilaw:
Makikitang naka blindfold si Richard. Inaalalayan siya ni Naj kahit na nakasaklay lang ito. Makikitang iiwan ni Naj si Richard sa tapat ng tripod. Maglalakad si Naj papuntang sofa at may kukuhaning papel.
Richard: Naj, kasama ba talaga ‘to?
Naj: Just be patient. (babasahin ang papel na hawak)
This certifies that Mr. Richard Geronimo got the exclusive contract of taking the picture of Najeline Modeling Agency’s latest model. Yada, yada, yada. This contract binds the photographer and the agency of an agreement that the model will be placed in the centerfold of the next issue of Elan magazine. Signed, Mr Richard Geronimo, the official photographer, and Ms. Najeline Pascual, Head, Najeline Modeling Agency.
Ricahard: (mapapangiti.) Alam ko na yan. We’ve been through this a couple of times already. Alam mo namang ayoko nang nabibitin. Matagl na rin akong hindi nakakakuha ng pictures.
Naj: I promise, hindi ka mabibitin sa makukuha mo. And besides, do you think I will risk that high amount of money for nothing?
(Lalapit kay Richard, sa may tenga magsasalita,)
(hihinto sandali) I have the eye for outstanding subjects.
Richard: (akmang tatanggalin ang blindfold)
Then let my eyes see the priced subject! Aba! Nakakapagod pumunta dito sa hotel room mo! Kung bakit ba naman kasi biglaan ang pagdating ng project na ito?
Naj: (Pipigilan si Richard)
Richard, Remember the virtue of patience. (Mag-aayos ng sarili si Naj. Magpo-pose, lalakad papuntang stool) Tatanggalin mo lang yan when I tell you to do so. (Magpo-pose muli) (Hihinto)
Richard, remember the shots we used to do way back before the accident?
Richard: Which shots? Ah! (excited ang tono) Yung mga sunod-sunod na napapasama sa centerfold! Oo naman, that paved way for the peak of my carreer! Salamat sa ganda mo. (hinto) I mean, you are one interesting subject na nagustuhan hindi lang ng camera, kundi pati ng mga tao.
Naj: (mahinhing matatawa) Haha. Really? I’m sure hindi ka na maninibago sa subject mo ngayon. (Mag-aayos ng sarili) Ok, you may now remove the blindfold.
Richard: (mapapakamot sa ulo, mapapangiti. magtataka) So, what’s up? Asa’n ang bagong model? Where’s the priced subject ? (lilingon-lingon. tititig kay Naj)
Naj: (Nakangiti, naka-pose) (patlang) Where are you looking at?
Richard: Don’t tell me… (kunwari kakapain ang mga mata) I thought I’ve already removed my blindfold?
Naj: Astig ka ha! You never forgot to bring humor with you.
Richard: Ikaw talaga, puro ka surprises. (mapapangiti)
Naj: Para namang hindi mo ako kilala. Bestfriend ko na ang camera since birth.
Richard: You don’t really mean that you will be my subject, do you?
Naj: Am I not interesting enough? (magpo-project)
Richard: (mapapailing) I mean, Naj, Please don’t play around.
Naj: You signed the contract!
Richard: But I never thought…
Naj: You never thought of me as a potential subject?
Richard: No. I never thought that you would want to objectify yourself.
Naj: Pardon? I am a subject in front of you.
Richard: Objects ang hanap ng centerfold.
Naj: Subjective object, an object of art.
Richard: Kailanman hindi naging objective ang art.
Naj: Are pictures not art?
Richard: Not all pictures are art.
Naj: Hindi ba sabi mo sa’kin dati I’m a work of art? (ii-spread ang mga braso na parang si oble)
Richard: You were a subject of art then.
Naj: Please, Richard, I’m tired of those excuses.
Richard: Art was never intended to objectify.
Naj: Didn’t you objectify me once? (ituturo ang magazine sa sofa.)
Richard: (mapapatingin sa magazine) It was not for art’s sake.
Naj: Akala ko noon ifframe mo na ako ng tuluyan.
Pero bigla kang nawala. Para kang flash ng camera kung dumating sa
buhay ko. Patay sindi. Darating ka lang kung kailan mo gusto.
Richard: Maraming mga bagay na nangyayari ang hindi sinasadya.
Maraming opportunities ang dumating.
Naj: Sa tingin mo ginusto ko ‘to? (ipapamukha ang kapansanan)
Richard: Hindi lahat ng pictures nailalagay sa frame.
Naj: I thought I was already frame-worthy!
Richard: Hindi lahat ng pictures pwedeng ilagay sa centerfold.
Naj: In this case, pwede na. We had a deal. A contract.
Richard: A blind agreement! Malabo ang gusto mong mangyari.
Naj: (kukunin ang celphone sa bulsa, tatawagan ang boss ni Richard) Hello, this is Ms. Naj Pascual, Mr. Chua, it appears to me that your prime photographer is backing out on the job.
Richard: (tatakbo papunta sa stool, kay Naj, aagawin ang telepono) Wait!
Naj: (patuloy sa pagsasalita) So, will I just be hiring another company’s photographer for the shoot?
(maagaw ni Richard ang telepono, papatayin ito)
Richard: Please don’t do this. Mahirap kalabanin ang nagpapakain sa’yo. Pasensiya. Stand by ka lang. (pupunta si Richard sa tripod. Aayusin ang camera. Kukunan na ng litrato si Naj)
Naj: (magpo-pose) I’m ready.
Richard: Teka. Hindi ka na kumokonekta sa mga lente.
Naj: Kailan pa naging pihikan ang mga lente?
Basics lang yan. You can change the camera’s setting, adjust the light meter, the aperture, ISO at focus- ikaw na rin ang nagsabi sa'kin nun.
Richard: Ang audience ang pihikan. (aayusin na ang camera)
Yung mga naghahanap ng objects, objects of their desires.
Naj: They loved me once, I’m pretty sure they will still accept me now.
Richard: Minahal lang nila ang object na ikaw.
Naj: Mamahalin nila kahit subjective na ako.
Richard: You adjust to their preference.
Naj: But you also adjust for your needs. (mapapangiti)
Richard: (mapipilitan) O sige, strike a pose. (hindi gagalaw si Naj) Lean 35 degrees to the right. Konting adjust pa. (mapapailing si Richard)
Naj: Wala akong dapat ayusin.
Richard: Tumingin ka kaya muna sa salamin. (ibibigay ni Richard ang salamin na nasa sofa kay Naj)
Naj: Hindi ko kailangan ng salamin. (ihahagis ang salamin pagkabigay ni Richard, mababasag ang salamin)
Naj: Sabi mo nga, I know myself better.
Richard: Akala ko ba gusto mo ng pang-centerfold.
Naj: I trust you, you know my angles.
Richard: Please, I'm just asking you to do your part.
Naj: There’s nothing left to do.
Richard: (iaayos ang camera. sisipatin si Naj sa lens, aayusin ang focus etc)
(hindi gagalaw sa pose si Naj)
Naj: (taas noong magpo-pose) Ganito ang gusto ko.
Richard: O sige, just turn your face a little to the right. Medyo taas pa ng noo.
(Hindi pa rin gagalaw si Naj) (mukhang naiirita na si Richard, magpupunas ng pawis sa noo)
Naj: (hindi pa rin gagalaw)
Modelo ako.
Richard: Photographer ako. Hawak ko ang camera.
Naj: Ako ang subject. Ikaw na lang ang hinihintay ko.
Richard: (buntong hininga. titingin sa camera.) Ready. 1, 2, 3!
(magfflash ang camera) (pagkatapos mag-flash, tatayo si Naj mula sa stool papunta kay Richard)
Richard: Wait, How about another shot? Naj!
(makikitang pipiliting maglakad ni Naj papunta sa tripod, malapit kay Richard, tapos kukunin ang camera mula sa tripod)
Naj: Bakit out of focus?
Richard: Sorry. I did what I can. Ikaw na mismo ang nagtanggal sa sarili mo sa focus. Medyo gumalaw ka kanina sa stool habang naka-pose ka.
Naj: Sometimes, the problem is not with the camera, it's with your focus. (patlang)
Richard: Madalas, kahit anong focus ang gawin mo, may mga subjects talaga na hindi nagfifit sa frame ng camera.
Naj: Depende sa mga mata ng kumukuha ang kalalabasan ng subject. (titingin sa mga mata ni Richard)
Richard: Naj, hindi na makakatayo ang tripod na naputulan ng isang leg.
Mahirap nang ipilit sa mga frames ng litrato ang nakaraan. (patlang)
Tatanggapin ko na ang pagkasibak ko sa trabaho. Wala na’kog magagawa sa mga kuha na gusto mo.
Naj: (patlang) (tititig kay Richard, ihahawak sa balikat ang isang braso)
Can’t you see? I’ve set this up para mabigyan kang muli ng break. Para magbalik yung dati. Remember? Nung ikaw yung photographer ko, then ako yung subject mo? Nung lagi ako sa centerfold? Gusto kong ibalik ang dati. (magmamakaawa kay Richard)
Richard: Hindi ka naman picture. Sabi mo nga modelo ka. Pwede kang gumalaw.
Naj: Nabubuhay ako sa mga litrato. Alam mo yun.
Richard: Hindi isang litrato ang buhay.
Naj: Sino nang kukuha ng mga pictures ko?
Richard: Maraming photographers.
Naj: But you know my best angles.
Richard: You know yourself better, Naj.(ilalayo ang kamay ni Naj sa sarili. Akmang iaayos ang mga gamit)
Naj: Richard, please. Sige, papayag na’ko. Another shot. (patlang) Please. Please don’t leave now.
Richard: I can’t take it. I don’t want them to see you in the centerfold like that! (pasigaw)
Naj: Bakit? Dahil ba sa itsura ko? What’s with the fear? I paid the publication ten times the prize just to be in the centerfold!
Richard: They have no idea of the centerfold object! (tatalikod kay Naj)
Naj: Centerfold subject!
Richard: (haharap kay Naj)
Of all people, you should be the one who better understands the situation.
Pag nakita nila yung mga pictures mo, maaring i-turn down nila ang contract! Masasaktan ka lang!
Naj: I can still double the payment, or even triple it, if that’s what they want. Basta ang gusto ko lang, magkaroon ng magandang subject ang centerfold.
Richard: Naj, hindi ka na maganda! (patlang) Tignan mo nga ang sarili mo! (tatahimik ang dalawa)
Naj: (makikitang nagulat sa sinabi ni Richard) Akala ko ba subjective ang art na sinasabi mo? Akala ko ba isa akong subject? Akala ko ba minahal mo ako?
Richard:(hahampasin ni naj ng saklay sa may batok si Richard. Mawawalan ito ng malay. Pupulutin ni Naj ang mga nakakalat na piraso ng bubog ng nabasag na salamin. Iutusok niya ito sa mga mata ni Richard)
Naj: Walang saysay ang mga matang hindi marunong makakita ng kagandahan. At mas lalong walang saysay ang mga mata ng photographer na hindi marunong tumingin ng subject.
Ang tao nakakalakad kahit walang paa, ang tripod hindi.
Para sa lens camera, kahit magka-lamat man ito,
lahat ng nakikita niya, subject.
Di tulad ng mga mata mo, parehong malinaw, but were easily blinded by the flashes of fame and fortune.
Naj: Sorry Richard, pero wala ring pinagkaiba kung naka-blindfold ka o hindi.
(ilalagay ang blindfold sa mga mata ni Richard, iuupo si Richard sa sofa at ihaharap sa may stool kung saan siya uupo)
Manood ka.
Makikitang aayusin ni Naj ang camera sa tripod. Iseset-up tapos lalakad siyang muli papunta sa stool tapos magpo-pose.
Mag fflash ang camera.
Patay ang Ilaw
____________
copyrighted script
12/09/2006
mad.time.messed.up.
********
nagawa rin ni schwarzenegger ang isa sa mga pantasya ng mga bata at mga adik na manonood ng tv: ang makialam sa buhay ng kanilang bida at kanilang mga idolo, ang paslangin ang nang-aapi at maging bida sa kanilang sariling binuong mundo.
12/03/2006
tugma
pilit pinupunan ng mapusyaw na ilaw ng pick-up ang kalsada sa general santos.
tanging mga mumunting ilaw mula sa baga ng sigarilyo na hinihithit ng aking mga kasama ang nagsisilbing ilaw sa aming kinalalagyan.
madamot ang gabi sa dayuhang tulad ko.
walang tanawing tatanggap sa'yo at walang ilaw na mag-aaliw;
tanging pagyakap lang ng hanging sumasabay sa sasakyan ang kikiliti sa iyong pandama.
mapaghanap ako.
hindi sapat ang ilang bote ng strong ice para malunod ka at
anurin palayo sa isipan ko.
hindi rin sapat ang pagdadamot ng gabi para ikubli ang aking paghahanap.
naubos na ang semento sa kalsada.
nang magtagpo ang lubak at gulong,
napatingin ako sa kalangitan.
nagulat ako ng makita kita doon.
nakita ko ang orion.
ang madalas na bukambibig mong konstelasyon.
naalala kita.
walang pinagkaiba ang orion sa laguna at sa gensan.
wala namang pinagbago ang kinang ng tatlong mga bituwin sa sinturon nito.
makinang pa rin, kahit na alam mo at alam ko na patay na talaga ang isa sa mga bituwin nito.
noon ko mas lalong naisip na mapanlinlang ang kalawakan.
nakakalungkot na ang isa sa mga makinang na bituwin na suot pa rin ng orion ay matagal na palang naglaho sa mukha ng kalawakan at patuloy na nagpapanggap na makinang at buhay sa mata ng mga taong naghahanap, nangangarap at umaasa.
umasa akong nakatingala ka rin ng mga oras na iyon sa orion.
umasa akong kahit papano nagtagpo ang mga paningin at diwa natin sa mga bituwin.
sana lang, sa tamang bituwin tayo parehong nakatingin.
tanging mga mumunting ilaw mula sa baga ng sigarilyo na hinihithit ng aking mga kasama ang nagsisilbing ilaw sa aming kinalalagyan.
madamot ang gabi sa dayuhang tulad ko.
walang tanawing tatanggap sa'yo at walang ilaw na mag-aaliw;
tanging pagyakap lang ng hanging sumasabay sa sasakyan ang kikiliti sa iyong pandama.
mapaghanap ako.
hindi sapat ang ilang bote ng strong ice para malunod ka at
anurin palayo sa isipan ko.
hindi rin sapat ang pagdadamot ng gabi para ikubli ang aking paghahanap.
naubos na ang semento sa kalsada.
nang magtagpo ang lubak at gulong,
napatingin ako sa kalangitan.
nagulat ako ng makita kita doon.
nakita ko ang orion.
ang madalas na bukambibig mong konstelasyon.
naalala kita.
walang pinagkaiba ang orion sa laguna at sa gensan.
wala namang pinagbago ang kinang ng tatlong mga bituwin sa sinturon nito.
makinang pa rin, kahit na alam mo at alam ko na patay na talaga ang isa sa mga bituwin nito.
noon ko mas lalong naisip na mapanlinlang ang kalawakan.
nakakalungkot na ang isa sa mga makinang na bituwin na suot pa rin ng orion ay matagal na palang naglaho sa mukha ng kalawakan at patuloy na nagpapanggap na makinang at buhay sa mata ng mga taong naghahanap, nangangarap at umaasa.
umasa akong nakatingala ka rin ng mga oras na iyon sa orion.
umasa akong kahit papano nagtagpo ang mga paningin at diwa natin sa mga bituwin.
sana lang, sa tamang bituwin tayo parehong nakatingin.
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