train of thoughts

you keep on telling me that i haven't moved on yet
but you yourself are tied with your past.

i have struggled hard to get out of the box and face the world again.
i was thankful that the world accepted me with cheers, as if i've won a million from game ka na ba.

i thought it was your hand that offered me help, or so i thought.
but it can't be possible.

you were with me in the box.
we were stuck together in the same abyss of atachment and memories.
the thing is we were not able to notice each other because we were both busy removing ourselves from the chains of the past.

i thought you've already removed your chains.
i thought i already saw you floating outside the box.
i thought i heard you yelling at me "move on!, move on!"

thoughts. cunning thoughts.


sometimes,we have to move out to move on.

when the bough breaks

sudden outburst of tears seep its way into the crevices of the rock.
the rock, no matter how hard and stable it may appear, can be broken into pieces by the rush of the river of tears.

the rock cradled in the comforts of the soil rolled over the moist grass and stumbled upon a root of a tree. at the root the rock finds comfort and protection. the growth of the root pushed the rock below the soil, burying it down, below the abyss of solitary darkness.

********
the cradle will fall

sapul!

masakit pa rin ang tama ng bola ng baseball sa aking ilong.

parang paglalakad sa malawak na parke nang paikot-ikot. yung iniisip mo kung ano nga ba ang iniisip mo. tapos kapag napahinto ka na, maiisip mo na wala ka na palang pera.
********************
kailangan ng dobleng ingat.
tunay ngang ulo natin ay maaring mapisat.
click on the link below:
ayala ave incident

muling pagwagayway ng pulang bandila

Newly elected UPLB CAS-SC officers
SAKBAYAN (Samahan ng Kabataan para sa Bayan)Slate 2006

muling namayagpag ang pulang bandila ng mga tibak* nitong nakaraang student council elections sa lahat ng UP system.
isang malinaw na senyales na bumabalik na ang tiwala ng karamihan sa kapangyarihan ng pakikipaglaban para sa kapakanan ng mga estudyante, ng taong bayan.
mabuhay ang iskolar ng bayan!

************
*binaligtad na salitang aktibista. kalimitang tawag sa mga raliyistang nagmumula sa UP

kumpisal

patawad.
may bago akong kasalanan.
may bago akong bisyo.
masyado na akong matakaw.
alam ko.
sabi ng simbahan, gluttony is a sin.
pero anong magagawa k? lagi akong nagugutom.
bakit ba naman kasi ang mahal kumain.
pesteng luho ito!
mas mahal pa yata ito kesa sa pagyoyosi at pag-iinom.
mas namamahalan pa ako dito kesa sa pakikipagrelasyon at pag-iinternet.
hindi ko naman nsinasadyang lustayin na lang sa pagkain ang mga perang ibinibigay ng mga mahal ko sa buhay.
mahirap kalabanin ang nag-aalburotong sikmura.
sana nga nare-recycle na lang yung kinain mo, para pwede mo pang iluto at kainin ulit.
e ang kaso, yung pera magiging pagkain, yung pagkain mo, magiging tae o kaya utot, tapos wala na. alangan namang kainin mong muli ang dumi mo! wah.
pasintabi sa mga mahihina ang sikmura. pasensiya na.
ngayon, paubos na ang padalang katas ng UAE ng aking ina.
nagastos ko na sa pagkain ang pambayad ko ng bahay.
nagpakabusog ako para sa mga papaer requirements.
hay. kumusta naman ako?
hay pagkain.
patawad.
****************
pagkaalis ko sa compu shop na ito, susubukan kong magpatingin kung masyado nang malulusog ang mga alaga ko sa bituka.

recent reflections

I don’t have a clear recollection of my first encounter with Lea Salonga. I think it was way back when I was about to enter first grade when I first heard her sing the theme of the Disney motion picture Aladdin. Back on that day, I was sure I instantly fell in love with her, as well as with her genuine voice.

Recently, I saw her on an interview with Loren Legarda on her show Real Stories aired at abc-5 and she was still dazzling beautiful.
There was a certain part in the interview that caught my already retiring senses.
It was when Loren asked Lea of what she thinks about her achievements.
I was expecting her to answer the question in an instant, and she did.
She handled the question well by saying that most things in this world are temporary.
If you won an award in 1993, people won’t remember your award in 1997

Material awards and achievements are there to boost our ego to help us become better persons. For a certain fleeting moment they cloud our ego with pride; which makes us think we can do so much with our little achievements.

So what if you were elected in the student council? So what if you were a campus figure? So what if you won on the lottery? So what if you won a palanca?

When I die, I want people to remember me as a person, not as a walking encyclopedia or a blabbering achiever. I want to be someone that touched not only people’s brain cells but also pinched their hearts.

I want to be remembered by the relationships and connections I’ve established. At least people remember you as a person, not as a trivial entity that has just passed their lives.

blah.

as the sound of the sexbomb deadens

get get aww can no longer be heard on the usual noon time variety show.
the sexbomb dancers all appeared to have a sudden vacation. i myself did not notice their sudden disappearnce because of too much preoccupation to work.

meanwhile, the PR group of abs-cbn must have been triple paid to do devise an effective campaign to revive the wowowwee show.
the sudden diversion of the network from the ultra tragedy to the leyte tragedy was quite effective. after a week of sorry press releases, the intensity of the stampede incident was slowly buffered by the "seemingly huge" charity works done by the network. mga kwento sa likod ng wowowwee and all the other wowowwee related shows that followed effectively covered all the fuss about the ultra tragedy.


the cries and the clamor of the souls of the victims of the stampede in ultra was slowly silenced.

the voice of willie was again heard, trying to dominate the airwaves with false-hopes.

*********
where have all the sexbombs gone?

balloon bye bye

Train yourself to let go of all the things you fear to lose

Master Yoda was right. If only I bear that in mind years back, I may not have suffered the weight of the shackles of physical and psychological attachment.

Psycho-physiological conditioning was tough, especially when you have established a strong connection with somebody. Most of the time, I wondered why it is so hard to let go; then I realized that it is in our nature to be really selfish. Sometimes, or rather most of the time, we succumb in to the desires of our ego.

The problem, I thought, was with the confusion between letting go and giving up.
We are all shrouded with fears of letting go because our ego was just so afraid to be bruised with the fact of losing something or someone.

When we let go, it does not necessarily follow that we gave up. We could have put up a good fight and let go. Letting go requires acceptance: acceptance of your weaknesses and shortcomings, as well as recognition of your strengths.

You must be sensitive to let go. For instance, when I saw that the person I loved has somebody else that makes her happier, I let go. Of course, it’s not as if u just gave her away to the other guy. I did fight for her.
We somehow managed to discuss things, and it occurred to me that she could be happier with the guy.

Anyways, the feeling of letting go is just so liberating.
I’ll add it to my list as one of the most pleasurable things in life.


*******************
Letting go of the string is different from giving up your balloon.