bliss and blisters

walang pasok ang lahat ng antas ng paaralan sa metro manila ngayon.
marami ang natuwa.
natuwa dahil may panahon pa sila para makanood ng tv, para makapaglaro sa labas, para makagawa ng di natapos na assignment, at para gawin ang kung ano-ano pang mga bagay na gustong gawin ng karamihan kapag walang pasok.

nakakalungkot isipin na sa kabila ng sunod-sunod na pagsabog ng mga isyu sa lipunan ngayon ay mas marami sa mga tao ang walang pakialam. kung bakit ba kasi masyadong napasama sa genes ng mga pinoy ang pagka-apathetic na ugali ng mga dayuhang mananakop.
kikilos lang tayo kapag tayo na mismo ang direktang naapektuhan.
naman! hindi pa ba natin nakikita na kapag nawalan ng pasok, nababawasan ang kita natin, nababawasan ang natututunan natin sa paaralan; at dahil nagkakagulo na sa paligid natin, hindi malayong mauwi na naman ang bansa sa isang madilim na pamamahala-ang pamamahalang represibo at di makatao.
sa katunayan, noon pa ito nagsimula, ngayon lang talaga umaalsa ang mga makasarili at maitim na balak ng administrasyon.

kung hindi tayo magssalita, at patuloy na magpapalunod sa ating mga luho (tulog, kain, laro, telebisyon, libro, sex, etc, ) at mag-mamaangmaangan sa mga nangyayari sa paligid, hindi malayong magkagulo ang bansa at mauwi tayo sa gera. hindi ako nag e-exxagerate. malamang, kung hindi tayo magsasalita sa panahong ganito, na pilit tayong binubusalan upang isiwalat ang katotohanan, magpapatuloy sa pagdami ang sugat ng ating lipunan. mga sugat na ikinakatuwa pa natin, mga sugat na hindi natin napapansin dahil hindi pa nagnanaknak, subalit sa panahong dumami na ito at maapektuhan ang ating katawan, tsaka tayo mag-ngangangawa.

panawagan sa ispiritista

kamakailan lang, nanaginip akong nanonood ng telebisyon, kung saan sinasabi na patay na raw si gloria. magulo yung mga tao sa tv. di magkandaugaga kung ano na ang gagawin sa bansa. ang mga tao nagkakagulo sa lansangan. ako, nasa harap ng tv, sa dorm, naghihintay ng mangyayari. tanda ko, hindi na rin magkasundo ang mga tao sa gobyerno, hanggang sa wala nang gustong mamuno. simula na yun ng civil war sa pilipinas.
**
gumising ako mula sa bangungot.

************
hindi naman mahirap kontrahin ang kapangyarihan ng dwende.
ang mahirap, kontrahin ang kapangyarihan ng dwendeng nag-aastang higante.

maaring natatakot ang dewende na mapatalsik sa kanyang punso.
maaring natamaan siya sa mga maliliit na batong ipinupukol sa kanya, kaya heto siya ngayon at nag-aastang higante.
naghahasik ng takot at lagim sa karamihan.

pero kahit na.
dwende pa rin siya at hindi tunay na higante. hindi man siya mapuksa sa mataimtim na dasal at pakiusapan, makakahanap din siya ng katapat.

(na-inspire ako sa post ni ie )

*****************
napa-isip din ako. baka ipahuli ako sa pagsusulat na ginagawa ko. pero naisip ko, sakop pa kaya ng kapangyarihan ng dwende ang mundo ng pagbblog? =)
dito, wala siyang masyadong kapangyarihan. kahit ipatigil pa niya ang tri-media, meron pa ring paraan para magpahayag, at ito ang pagba-blog.

BREAK: Kumusta naman ito?

So kumusta ang repression sa bansang Pilipinas?

(the following are the text messages i received a while ago after our class.)

gloria already declared a state of emergency. bawal na mag-rally. marami ang hinuhuli dahil dun. this only proves the facism of gma. patalsikin ang pekeng pangulo.
pls pass.

nagdeclare na po ng state of emergency c gloria aroyo. proclamation 1017. bawal na mag-rally at pwede na ang warantless arrest. maging mapagmatyag. maging handa sa partisipasyon ng mga estudyante.



*************************************************
Philippines president declares state of emergency amid report of coup plot

MANILA, Philippines The president of the Philippines has declared a state of emergency as she struggles against a reported coup plot and opposition efforts to bring down her government.

The announcement by Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (mah-kuh-puh-GAHL' uh-ROY'-oh) came after the military said a general had been arrested in connection with a coup plot.

Meantime, Filipinos have been defying a ban on rallying at a shrine of the 1986 "people power" revolt that ousted Ferdinand Marcos. Clashes erupted as police tried to disperse the protesters.

Arroyo says her action is the result of ongoing efforts by the political opposition to bring down the elected government. She's survived two coup attempts.

Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

source: http://www.wavy.com

ten twenty

many opressed and repressed people still find the streets a suitable place to voice out their opinions.

i practically learn more things and ideologies outside the 4 corners of our classroom.

most filipinos are still apathetic. we only make a stand and act when we are directly affected by the incidents in this country.

most people are numb of the drama of life. I mean, for instance, the death of a UPLB student due to hazing was easily forgotten after a few days. don't you find it alarming?

the sad thing about that is that thousands of people are loathing those people in rallies, saying that they are too tired of rallies, that they are already fed up with demonstrations, but they themselves haven't experienced a rally. so what's the fuss about?

almost twenty years has passed nad i haven't had a real talk with my family.

the population of lawyers is steadily increasing in this country. the irony is that millions of people do not know the law, particularly their rights.

i've been engaged in the world of debating and discourse since high school, and yet i haven't made enough actions based on our assessment of issues.

human rights is not respected by most of us, wich explains the high rate of human rights violations in this country; do we really know our rights?

the university study contributed a lot on my assertive personality.

malls are now almost everywhere like capitalist mushrooms. they even outnumber schools and hospitals in this country!

on the nearly twenty years course of my life, i find malls as the provider of hopes for the people, whether they are false or genuine.

the philippine political culture is just so pop! most of the people in the society still consider their politicians as santa clauses. that is if their wishes were not readiliy granted, they react violently and throw rocks and curses on their leaders.

before i entered college, i told myself not to engage in any form of politics. but it appears as if politics is in my system. i am again running for a poisition in the student council.

the philippine economy is hiding behind the shroud of OFW remittances so as to appear stable amidst the looming crisis and condition of the society.

for almost 20 years, our family survived of a monthly 10,000Php allowance/budget from my mom. of course, we also did our small parts on raising money for our other expenses.

education in this country is fast becoming a commodity. our state representatives and legislators seem to forget that quality education should be free, if not, accessible to all.

for 14 years in school, i can say that i have not performed that well. i know i could have done better for my parents but i didn't. i felt guilty for wasting the efforts and money of my parents.

twenty years has passed since the EDSA revolution, and yet we never learned from our actions,: past, present and future plans. it appears as if we forgot the power of the people, our sovereignity, our dignity and strength as a nation.

i have experienced almost 20 years of life in this country, and yet i have not been that productive.

sumpa ng demigod

Ikaw ang nagsabing demi-god ako, na nagagawa ko ang maraming bagay nang sabay-sabay, na nagagawan ko ng paraan ang mga bagay;
pero ikaw din ang di naniwala sa mga sinabi mo.

Sumama ka sa kanya,
kay Adonis.

Hindi kailanman nawala ang kapangyarihan kong paligayahin ka.
Hindi kailanman nagtagumpay ang oras na kuhanin ka sa’kin,
Hindi, hindi pa.
Hanggang dumating si Adonis.

Nang dumating siya sabi mo nawalan ako ng oras.
Sabi mo wala akong oras pero naipagluluto pa rin kita tuwing tanghali.
Sabi mo wala akong oras pero nasusundo pa rin kita gabi-gabi kahit may sakit ako.
Sabi mo wala akong oras pero nagagawa ko pa rin lahat ng pinapagawa mo sa’kin.

Itinuring kitang diyosa.
tao ka na nagmistulang diyosa sa aking mga paningin.
Binansagan mo akong demigod.

Turing natin sa isa’t-isa ay mga diyos.
Mga mapagpanggap na diyos.
Mga huwad na diyos.
Ikaw, diyosa ng kagandahan,
Ako, ang diyos ng kabaitan.

Matagal ko ring inisip kung ano bang meron si Adonis na wala ako.

Wala.

Yun ang meron siya na wala ako.

Itinuring mo kasi akong diyos-diyosan.
Inilagay kita sa pedestal, inigay ko rin ako sa itaas.

Inilagay natin ang ating mga sarili sa lugar kung saan hindi na natin maabot ang isa’t-isa.

Pinilit kong gumamit ng kapangyarihan para maabot kang muli.
Pinilit ko pero nakalimot ako.
Tao pa rin pala ako.

Ako na naiwang nag-iisa at nagtataka sa pedestal.
Ako na di sinasadyang dapuan ng sumpa ng pagiging isang demigod.



************
Siya ba pinapayungan ka?
Ipinagluluto ka rin ab niya ng adobong sitaw?
Iginagawa ka rin ba niya ng paper para sa eng101?
Hatid sundo ka rin ba niya kahit hindi na siya nakakapasok sa klase niya?

Hindi kita sinusumbatan,
Gusto ko lang linawin ang mga bagay-bagay.

May bagyo raw, Adonis ang pangalan.
Parang siya, mukhang Adonis.
Ako? Hindi ako mukhang Adonis.
Simple lang ako.
Di kagwapuhan, di katalinuhan.
Pero may lamang ako sa lahat ng Adonis.
Mabait ako.
Tunay na mabait.

Kaya nga kaya kong tanggapin ang lahat ng pang-uuuto.
Yung magpapaluto ka ng ulam kahit may klase pa ako,
Tapos kapag nakahain na, sasabihin mo sa’king nakakain ka na sa Arega.

Yung papupuntahin mo’ko sa St. Therese para sunduin ka, tapos pagdating ko doon, nasa klase ka na pala at nakapag-quiz pa.

Yung yayayain mo’kong mag-dinner,
Tapos kapag magtatapat na’ko ng pag-ibig ko sa’yo,
Babanggitin mo siya.
Siya na mukhang Adonis.
Siya na sabi mo boring.
Siya na boyfriend mo na pala.

Hindi ako m,agagalit.
Hindi ako magagalit pero magdaramdam ako.
Magdaramdam ako pero hindi ako magagalit.
Magdaramdam ako, pero hindi ko ipapakita sa’yo.
Dahil mabait ako.

Ganito magmahal ang mabait.
Tumila na ang ulan.
Paalis na yata ang Adonis.
Yan nga yata ang hirap sa mga Adonis, bagyong darating, iiwan ka matapos makapanalanta.
Maaring makabangon ka matapos ka niyang salanatain.
Maaring matibay ka.
Pero ito ang tandaan mo,
Lahat ng Adonis, nagyong darating upang ikaw ay salantain at iwan sa huli.
Hindi ako Adonis.
Hindi ako bagyo.
Mabait ako.

Makuntento ka sana sa taong mabait.

-monologue ko na isinulat ng aking teacher na si Bb Layeta Bucoy

meism

ok. so i did not wear red today, so as to deviate from the bloody red hype of valentines day.

don't get me wrong. iam not bitter; this is not intended to sound bitter in the first place.

valentines day for me has always been ordinary like the other days of the year. aside from the buckets of flowers everywhere, the smooching couples, the hopeless romantics, the bitter singles, and the contented singles, life is still the same.

cliche.

any ordinary day becomes memorable and symbolic if you will take the effort to make it special. therefore, any ordinary day can be as special as today.

most people celebrate this day to "formalize" their mushiness, bitterness, romances, perkiness and many other esses.
most people often find this day as an official day of love:
love for your partner, love for your girlfriend, love for your social exchange partner, love for your friends and what have you.

and amidst the seemingly overwhelming diffusion of love in the air, most of us forget a kind of love that is often neglected, but is ironically supposed to be innate in all of us: self-love.

yes. self-love. i want to take this oportunity to encourage all of us to take a little step back and reflect how much we gave ourselves attention, care and respect.

this kind of self-love is far from being narcissistic. it is a deeper kind of love that an individual must realize to dignify him/herself. it is the kind of love each of us must always bear in mind to boost our ego and self-respect.

the realization of your strengths and weaknesses and the acceptance of the totality of your persona (the fusion of your physical, mental and psychological aspects), goes well with self-love.

i'd still stick to the saying that you are your bestfriend and your enemy.

it will always be a constant self-battle.
if you love yourself, you need to be prepared to get hurt and crashed, for realizing your weaknesses and accepting your faults can be really devastating.
but we need not worry.
after all, the pain and struggles will make us rise from the ashes like the phoenix.

you cannot effectively give out love if you yourself do not love yourself.

many people are wondering why most relationships won't work out,
but the problem with most people is that they involve themselves in relationships to experience love, to receive love, without bearing into mind that they too must give out love; in order to do so, they must first love themselves

this valentine's day, before you make out or please your so-called loved ones, give yourself a favor, and tell yourself how much you love you.

this valentine's day (even everyday),
let's love ourselves.
let's spread love.

i'm sure cupid won't mind us giving love to ourselves.

happy valentines.

now playing

dati hindi ko makahiligan ang sports,
hindi ko kasi maintindihan ang mga rules ng laro;
pero nang magsimula kang makipaglaro sa akin,
nahilig na'ko bigla dito.

dahlia

ano ba'ng ikinakatakot mo?

pareho na tayong nasa wastong gulang.


ano ba naman ang pagdampi ng iyong katawan sa akin?
hindi ba't kapag giniginaw ka, yakap ko ang nagpapainit sa'yo?
oo, higit pa sa init na dulot ng saplot mo ang kaya kong ibigay.
mala-apoy? hindi.
ayokong mapaso ka.
katamtaman.
katamtaman ang init ko.
init ng aking katawan.

ano ba naman ang isang gabing magkayakap ang ating mga katawan.
ang iyong dibdib sa akin,
ang iyong tiyan sa aking tiyan,
ang iyong hita sa aking mga hita,
ang iyong init sa aking init.
hindi ba mas masarap yun?
lalo na't malamig pa rin ang panahon.

nagsalo na nga ang ating mga dugo kagabi.
oo, kagabi sa tiyan ng lamok.
sa tiyan ng lamok naging isa ang ating mga dugo.
dugo na mas matimbang pa kaysa sa ating mga pinagsalong pawis.
dugo na mas malapot kaysa sa pinaghalong mga likido mula sa ating mga katawan.

walang sinabi ang pagniniig ng ating mga pawis at laway sa pag-iisa ng ating mga dugo.

katawan na nga lang e!

katawan mo na lang ang hinihiling ko sa'yo.
ang init ng iyong katawan, ang iyong pawis, ang iyong laway.

nagawa na ngang mag-isa ng ating mga dugo, ano pa ang ating mga katawan?

isang gabi lang.

magaling kang manukso
pero mas magaling kang mambitin.

huwag kang mag-alala.
kaya kong panagutan ang iyong katawan.

becoming a hero

akala ko noon magtatapos na sa anime ang mga kamukha ko.
noong una kamukha ko daw yung batang gohan, tapos naging kamukha ko naman si nobita ng doraemon, tapos si detective conan, marahil dahil nakasalamin pa'ko ng makapal noon, pero nang sumiklab ang mga chino/korea-novela hype, mas marami akong naging kamukha.

nang unang lumabas ang F4, sabi nila kahawig ko daw si vaness, tapos naging si shing-ha (yung bestfriend ni san-cai), tapos kung sino-sino pang mga singkit na artista ang sinasabi nilang kamukha ko.
siyempre sa una ok lang, alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi ko naman talaga kamukha ang mga ihinahalintulad nila sa'kin, pero habang dumadami ang nagsasabi sa'kin na kamukha ko ang isang tao o bagay, naiirita ako.

aba, kumusta naman ang pagiging hawig ko daw kay carlos agassi at erik santos?! wahhh! panginoon, akala ko ako lang ang may malabong mata, e bakit mukhang umabot na ng 3,000 ang grado ng mga mata ng mga tao sa paligid ko?!
aaahhh! hindi naman ako nagkulang sa paligo!
nagkukuskos naman ako ng maigi kapag naliligo ako.
ewan. hindi na masyadong nakakatuwa.

siyempre, dumating din sa point na napagod din ang mga tao sa kaka-compare kung kamukha ko ba si ganito o si ganun.
pero huwag ka, may bago na namang pinagkakaaliwan ang mga tao sa paligid ko.
may bago na akong kamukha.
hindi siya ordinaryo.
malakas siya.
isa siyang bayani.
si manny.

nagulat naman ako.
pagkasabi nung kung sino mang ulikba na yun na kamukha ko daw si manny pacquiao, nagsimulang nang mag-react ang mga tao sa paligid ko,

"ay! oo nga ano?!" "uy! tignan mo, kamukha niya si manny!"

wah! kumusta naman ako?!

pag-uwi ko, dagli akong humarap sa salamin at tinitigan ang nakikita kong reflection.

totoo ka ba?

bakit sabi nila kamukha mo si manny?!

bahala sila. bayani naman si manny. ok lang.
at least kapag nakikita anila ako, naiisip nila ang tagumpay na hinatid sa bansa ni ginoong pacquiao.

sabi nga nung friend ko,
mas gugustuhin ko pa ngang maging kamukha si jolina kaysa kay roxy!
nang tanungin namin kung bakit, ang tangung nasabi niya:
at least si jolina sikat!

at least sikat si manong manny.

kahit papaano, nararamdaman ko on a small scale ang pagiging bayani ni manny!

tutugtog ang kanta ni many.

"para sa'yo, ang laban na 'to! para sa'yo..."

social stampede

What happened yesterday on ULTRA was one scenario of our pitiful social condition.

Most people went there for the hope of becoming a little “richer” but instead experienced a stampede that costs more or less 100 dead people and 200++ injured.

People from remote provinces would sacrifice their jobs and physical comforts for the hope that they could win the promised million peso prize as promised by the Wowowwee gameshow. Most people who went to Ultra are those people in despair who fell for the trap of false-hopes.

Providing sparks of hope to the Filipino people is actually good, especially in the midst of our political and economic turmoil, but blinding people with sparks of false-hope can be devastating.

Wowowwee has long been promising most Filipinos that the show alone can alleviate them from poverty.

TV personalities and people interviewed may be right in saying that nobody is to blame in the incident, but there must be at least people/ forces responsible for the perpetuation of such tragedy.

I do partly blame the Spaniards for infusing in the Filipino psyche and culture the element of luck.

I also partly blame Willie Revillame for sensationalizing poverty, and for telling the people to join Wowowwee instead of finding decent jobs.
“Kung wala kayong magawa sa bahay, kung wala kayong trabaho, mag wowowwee na kayo!” -may not be the exact words from Mr Willie.
He/the show is not helping any poor person- he is merely teaching them to be lazy.

Network/ Project coordinator should also felt responsible for the tragedy because of their failure to anticipate such tragedies.
It is always a responsibility to provide a quality crowd and security control system whenever big events will be held.

The people in queue, who pushed their way in maybe because of impatience or hunger for money, must also be blamed. We never learned our lessons.

The Government must see this as an alarming situation when the majority of the people resort to chances, to false hopes, to luck, instead of working their way to success.

The Arroyo government should have plans on motivating the people to act on their own instead of just resorting to “easy money” promised by game shows. Condolence for the victims

This is what happens when false hopes turn into nightmares.

Prayers and condolences to all the victims of yesterday’s tragedy.

teflon anyone?

come on! accept the fact that she sticks with you because she benefits from you.
just accept it! some girls are just mean!
those authentic biatches!

just accept that you've been one of those guys fooled by these bitches who not just stash your pockets after draining your cum but also hit you on the head by hooking up with your friends-yes, even girl friends!

when will you wake up on your fantasy?
take this for example:

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u


a mean biatch song shrouded in a pop-pseudo RNB melody.

i must stick wit u-because nobody's gonna love me better.
a sheer proof of a friendly user.




just hand me a handful of non-stick teflon.

**************

what can i do?
i just happened to have sensitive olfactory senses.
i can't help but notice the breath of the person sitting next to me while i am typing this post.
can't he be sensitive enough to do himself a favor and purchase an air freshener for his mouth?
i don't know if it's coincidence, but most on-line gamers on internet shops seem to neglect their oral duties.
aahhh!
what could be worst than the smell of rotten mice on their mouth!